Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

Yahoo Annual Meeting Countdown (1 Day to Go!): Let the Memory Live Again?

Is it just me or does the dire situation of Grizabella the Glamour Cat in the musical “Cats” remind you a little bit too much of what has been going on with Yahoo (YHOO) and its CEO Jerry Yang over the last year?

Thus, BoomTown has decided to make that scraggly cat’s anthem Yahoo’s for its annual meeting tomorrow, because the similarities are simply startling.

(Grizabella’s signature song, “Memory,” is even wildly purplish, just like the Internet company!)

And more:

A little raggedy around the edges? Check!

See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day…)

Slinking around the digital stage in a serious state of malaise? Double check!

Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan)

Disdained by other Jellicle geeks (rrrrooowr!)? Hey, this is getting eerie!

All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again)

Using the big, wide, teary-eyed look to gain sympathy? It totally worked on Larry and Sergey!

(Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning)

Desperately hoping to be picked by Old Deuteronomy to be the “cat who can now be reborn and come back to a different Jellicle life”? Yes, please, except only if the old feline is Carl Icahn and that life is as a division of MSN!

I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn’t give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin)

Beset by more bad news than good (today a California assemblyman asked Attorney General Jerry Brown to investigate the Yahoo-Google online ad outsourcing deal, piling onto other ongoing federal look-sees)? I am afraid so.

(Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning)

Singing a big moving number about revival and renewal for those in the cheap seats tomorrow at the meeting being held at San Jose’s Fairmont Hotel? I can only fervently pray all night.

(Touch me
It’s so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You’ll understand what happiness is)

And, if successful, rising to skyward into a glittery light on a big cloud of fake smoke, approximating I-am-still-not-sure-what? Well, no, but maybe Microsoft (MSFT) might be impressed enough to make another bid at $33.

A new day has begun)

One can only hope, because if not, the meeting–now minus a proxy fight from activist investor Icahn–could be dullish, as it was last year when former CEO Terry Semel presided.

Back then, aside from some disgruntled shareholders complaining about Yahoo’s performance and low stock price (about $23, compared with $20 now), it was way too calm, although Semel was gone by the next week and Yang was in.

A replay of my video of last year’s event is on deck for tomorrow. But, until then, here is the incomparable Elaine Page singing “Memory” in the original London production (which I saw in 1981, while traveling during college):