Kara Swisher

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Sam-bad: Woz Gets a 10 Out of 30 on “DWTS”


At least Apple (AAPL) co-founder Steve Wozniak can pun through the pain of his foot fracture and pulled hamstring.

“Hey, well, one thing I learned is that if you mix a little dancing with a little Smirnoff, you might end up in an ambulance,” he joked, riffing on the name of his partner, Karina Smirnoff.

What he can’t do, of course, is dance very well, which was why he got the low, low score of 10 out of 30 last night from the judges on his third week of “Dancing with the Stars.”

“Steve, on your knees and beg forgiveness–this was the worst Samba I’ve ever seen, I think–just bad,” said Bruno Tonioli.

“I just hope the viewers enjoyed it as an entertainment, because for me, it was consistent–it was terrible from start to finish,” said Len Goodman.

And, while she called Woz “adorable,” Carrie Ann Inaba delivered the bomb: “At some point, the novelty wears off…you’re like the uncle at the party that we just root for.”

Well, maybe for her it gets old, but not the rest of us completely riveted to exactly what wacky stunt and what level of atrocious dancing Woz will deliver next on the ABC television show.

Oh, it was a bad Samba. A very bad Samba. Sam-bad.

But from his decidedly odd “worm” to his accusing the producers of vote-rigging to his pink boa, Woz should still get the ballot box stuffed Silicon Valley-style.

Woz was cheerfully defiant about his performance, joking that he probably deserved a lesser score even: “I enjoy it and I am going to try to bring my form of entertainment to the world.”

World geek dancing domination!

So vote early and often tomorrow so that he can overcome his lack of dancing ability and win first place on this ridiculous show!

Here’s the video:

Also here are Woz’s missives to the fans on his Facebook page from yesterday, after the jump:

On Mar 23, 2009, at 1:53 AM, Steve Wozniak wrote:

Yesterday evening I was sure that I couldn’t dance on Monday, due to so much pain that I would wince when I walked. It wasn’t pretty.

My partner, Karina, is very familiar with such injuries and worse. She was of the opinion that if I withdrew from Dancing With The Stars, rumors would fly that I was using this injury as an excuse. She has danced with pulled hamstrings many times. I can tell you from how this one felt, that it’s not the same for a 20 year old as it is for a 58 year old.

Karina modified our routine to keep it as good, but avoid a few maneuvers that caused me extreme pain. We practiced a few times last night on the real DWTS stage and I decided that I could do the dance, a Samba, on Monday (tomorrow).

We practiced today. I had very little problem with my pain in the dance but now had to learn different sequences of the whole routine, and connect them. You have heard of muscle memory. One step reminds your foot of the next step, and so on. But now we took chunks in the middle and rewrote them. Plus we lost nearly 2 days of rehearsal due to my inability to do anything, not to mention hospitals and MRI’s and more over 2 days. So rehearsal-wise, we are behind everyone else, but we are feeling confident that we can do something of value tomorrow. You’ll have to see.

I have much more to say to you all, but it’s an incredibly tired time for me.

Please, keep email and phone calls to an absolute minimum. I will not necessarily be by either with any time at all tomorrow. I have to ask your help in minimizing this.



On Mar 23, 2009, at 2:41 PM, Steve Wozniak wrote:


If that URL doesn’t work, go to –Dancing With The Stars–click the “Vote Now” tab.

I can’t stress how important in my case the audience voting is. It can fairly easily make the difference between last place and first place. When you are in the dance-off, you have to take extra time preparing for it instead of your next dance, which gets you further behind for the next week’s dance. It’s unfortunately a case of positive feedback and votes can pull me out of that situation. If you pull me out, I will owe you and love you all forever, as I do people who attended my US Festivals.

best regards,


On Mar 23, 2009, at 6:46 PM, Steve Wozniak wrote:

Dress rehearsal had a wardrobe malfunction

My pants were falling down and I had to keep pulling them up!

Ha ha, everyone loved it.

Also, before heading to the stage, Karina was looking for me and the camera went down to me crawling on the floor with a hurt leg. They loved it so much they asked us to do it live tonight.

The pants are being repaired now. I can’t tell you how it feels to have your pants falling off in a dance. I lost too much weight again.

The worm went great in dress rehearsal. Enjoy the show tonight.

best wishes to all,