BoomTown » Bill Gates

All Is Forgiven: "It's a Clean Slate," Says Andreessen About Lawsuit-Mad Skype Co-Founders

Kara Swisher — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:28:48 +0000

Silicon Valley legend and now VC Marc Andreessen was making the interview rounds after the settlement between the litigation-addled co-founders of Skype and all the various people they were suing was announced this morning.

He has been tight-lipped until now, due to the morass of lawsuits.

But, as Andreessen told BoomTown in a phone interview about the aggressive legal tactics of Niklas Zennström and Janus Friis that resulted in them finally seizing a stake in the Internet telephony giant by suing him and many other Silicon Valley players:

“We did not take it personally. It’s a clean sheet of paper.”

Well, it is actually a torn, stained and very worn out piece of paper, due to all the various machinations, but bygones!

Andreessen–who knows a thing or two about legal tussles, if you recall Netscape-Microsoft (MSFT)–said the real point is that it is time to focus on the business of Skype rather than fighting over who controls Skype.

“It’s really good to have everyone lined up and rowing in the same direction. We have to capitalize on the opportunity, because Skype is poised for a new wave of growth,” said Andreessen. “They have an amazing head of steam, because the logical way for voice and video communications to be conducted will be over the Web.”

Thus, Zennström and Friis now join the winning buyout group, Silver Lake Partners, Andreessen Horowitz and the Canada Pension Plan Investment Board, along with eBay, in owning Skype.

But Index Ventures, which was in, is–as Heidi Klum might say–out!

Under the terms of the agreement, Niklas Zennström and Janus Friis will take a 14 percent stake in the company they founded and then sold to eBay (EBAY), which will include an undisclosed investment by them.

I reported yesterday that the total was 13 percent–10 percent for the rights to key Skype technology held by the co-founders and the option to invest $83 million for three percent more.

In exchange, the pair will give Skype software essential to its operation and drop their various lawsuits against eBay and Skype’s buyers.

As for Zennström and Friis’s egregious use of the courts to grab their 14 percent stake in Skype, litigation they waged after losing their bid to buy Skype back from eBay, Andreessen was being very politic.

“We love working with aggressive founders and are in favor of founders being involved in their companies,” he said. “Great founders are not known for being shy and reserved. Look at Bill Gates. It’s not a question of personality, but of accomplishment.”

Noting that he had not worked with the pair before, Andreessen (pictured here) said, “We have a lot of respect for them. We think they’re geniuses.”

But, I queried, would he have used such tactics?

“It’s not a book club, it’s a super-serious, high-stakes game,” said Andreessen. “I don’t know; I’ve not been in the situation they’re in. If your goal in life is to avoid drama, this is probably the wrong industry for you.”

Perhaps, but I told him that I doubted even a battle-hardened entrepreneur like Andreessen would use the courts in such a manner to achieve business goals.

To each his own, said Andreessen!

“One of our investing mottos is that we invest in strength, not lack of weakness,” he said. “The question is how big is the opportunity.”

And, apparently, it is big enough to overlook all the drama that has gone on.

Andreessen said he expects to be more involved at Skype–which, with his $50 million investment, is the biggest deal in his $300 million fund–than other board members, noting different directors have different roles.

It’s a big board of 23, as I had previously reported. Zennström and Friis are each getting a seat.

“We are going to be helpful,” Andreessen said about his fund’s role at Skype. “We’re a company picker, looking for those that have the greatest potential.”

Andreessen, ever the diplomat, made sure to add that that also means doing business with Index, the member of his Skype consortium that departed as Friis and Zennström (pictured here) entered, due to stark tensions between the two sides.

“I have a lot of respect for [Index partners Danny Rimer and Mike Volpi] and expect to work with them a lot in the future,” said Andreessen. “In fact, I am talking to them today about two other deals.”

In other words, in Silicon Valley, the big wheel just keeps on turning.

While Fanboys Breathlessly Await Steve Jobs's Apple iTab, They Should Probably Thank Bill Gates Too

Kara Swisher — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:10:54 +0000

Way back in the fall of 2001, when BoomTown was but a less-aged version of myself, I attended a keynote speech at the now-defunct Comdex show in Las Vegas, where Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates continued to bang the drum for one of his long-running obsessions: The tablet computer.

“The tablet takes cutting-edge PC technology and makes it available whenever you want it, which is why I’m already using a tablet as my everyday computer,” Gates said at the time to the audience gathered at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. “It’s a PC that is virtually without limits and within five years I predict it will be the most popular form of PC sold in America.”

Well, that did not happen.

But Gates did keep his promise about using a tablet–he kept on doing so and also harping on the topic all the time, with Microsoft even releasing a giant tabletop Surface several years ago and supporting multitouch in the coming Windows 7.

I recall Gates talking about the idea of how important the tablet is on innumerable occasions, more than any single concept I can recall.

It is ironic, then, that all the hype has suddenly and firmly coalesced around the particulars of the tablet that Apple (AAPL) will be unveiling in the coming months.

And now that CEO Steve Jobs is back fine-tuning the whole shebang, the obsession has moved into overdrive, punctuated only by endless stories about every single new app for the iPhone and fights over some of those new apps for the iPhone.

It’s a complete aside, but how ironic is it that Apple has somehow managed to make Google (GOOG)–the Skynet of the Internet–seem like a victim over this Google Voice shrillathon?

Back to the Apple tablet, which is playbook hype for iconic computer giant.

Besides being a secret project everyone in Silicon Valley seems to know about, the coming device is enjoying full-on breathless reportage of every single possible button and every possible feature, with every single bit of functionality parsed, dissected, masticated and spat back out.

But let’s be honest–in the end, this Apple tablet is probably going to be some kind of giant, sleeker, more glorified and doubtlessly niftier version of the iPod touch, called the iTab or the iPad or the iAmSoCoolAren’tI?, at three times the price.

Now, as it turns out, Microsoft (MSFT) is also at work on a table device, this time called the Courier.

This development became known recently after a demo video of it in use was somehow “leaked”–three guesses about which software giant in Redmond, Wash., put that out, and the first two don’t count!–to Gizmodo.

It seems to be some kind of tablet mixed with a journal mixed with a day planner, with a hinged two-page look. Digital writing and a stylus are involved, but also lots of touchscreen action.

Well, I say, good for Microsoft, and perhaps for Gates, who has now mostly disengaged himself from the day-to-day particulars of the behemoth he built, including the Courier.

Nonetheless, in all likelihood, Apple will still garner the most buzz in this tablet faceoff and will, more than likely, sell more.

A delicious irony, given that in their fascinating and long-running rivalry, it has usually been Jobs playing the hopeless dreamer and Gates the one who makes bank from the dreams of others.

No longer, which should make this round between Microsoft and Apple the most interesting of all.

Speaking of dreaming of dreams, it is always a good time to post the video of Susan Boyle singing “I Dreamed a Dream”:

Mossberg Does Moby: Video and More!

Kara Swisher — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:43:58 +0000

Last night, onstage at Lincoln Center in Manhattan, my most excellent partner, Walt Mossberg, interviewed well-known techno musician Moby about music and entertainment in the digital age.

The wide-ranging talk was part of an ongoing cultural festival series organized by The Wall Street Journal, called Summer Scoops Live.

Here are three video clips from the event:

[ See post to watch video ]

If you prefer to read, here is a live blog that Michelle Kung did of the event to enjoy:

7:30 p.m.–Out of the steaming heat and into the cool, air-conditioned confines of Lincoln Center’s Stanley H. Kaplan Penthouse.

7:39 p.m.–The lights dim and Moby and Mossberg make their entrances. Moby slinks down in his chair (”Am I greasy, or is it the chair?”) just before WSJ culture editor Christopher John Farley introduces the pair.

7:43 p.m.–Mossberg plugs his son, who’s in a band, before asking Moby–whose real name is Richard Melville Hall–if he is really related to “Moby Dick” author Herman Melville. Moby replies that that is what his parents have always told him and explains the origins of his moniker: “When I was 11 minutes old, my parents looked at me and I was this little grub of a baby and my mother said, Richard Melville Hall is a very grown up name, and my father said jokingly, let’s call him ‘Moby.’ All these years later, I still have this name I’ve have from infancy.”

7:46 p.m.–Mossberg asks Moby, in between jokes about being both being bald-ish, about the difference between “Play” and his new album, “Wait for Me.” Moby begins by talking about how the success of “Play” completely surprised him, because he was considered a “has been” by the time the album was originally released in the early 1990s and that Rolling Stone refused to review the album. His success with the album also confused him, because he was unsure of his next step–was he supposed to listen to the label now? To the fans? To himself?

“Wait for Me,” his ninth studio album, was designed as a return to simplicity, and created with old instruments–many of which were purchased on eBay–in his bedroom in Manhattan. When Mossberg asks Moby to clarity what he means by “his bedroom,” the musicians lays out out his floorplan–he lives in a two-bedroom apartment on Mott Street and with a small space (”two people starts to feel claustrophobic”) set aside for his music work.

7:52 p.m.–Moby uses a Mossberg question as an excuse to slam Jay Leno, whom he calls the “least prepared interviewer.” He fakes a Leno voice, and mock interviews: “So Moby, you have a new record. Tell me about it.” Mossberg interjects, “So I have a low bar?” to the delight of the crowd.

7:53 p.m.–Mossberg asks Moby how he used technology in “Wait for Me.” Moby begins by explaining that while he loves technology, he don’t fetishize it like some of his friends. “I have an 18″ flat screen TV. A bigger screen doesn’t make TV any better. ‘Family Guy’ is still funny on a little TV. If it works and doesn’t cause me undue stress, I love it.’

7:55 p.m.–Moby launches into an explanation of what Pro Tools and plugins are, and how thanks to this nifty recording/mixing operating system, he can take prerecorded “notes” that have been recorded abroad, say, in places like Vienna, and then recreate a 60-piece orchestra on his keyboard.

7:59 p.m.–On to issues of intellectual property. Moby says: “I don’t mind when people pirate my music–if you want to steal my music, more power to you.” Mossberg immediately asks, “Why?” And he deadpans, “Deep-seated emotional issues.” He then goes on to explain that personally, he’s so honored that people want to listen to his music, he doesn’t want to restrict access to it. “I don’t have alimony, I don’t need insulin…I don’t have crystal meth problems.” Thus, he personally doesn’t mind, but he can only speak for himself. But to clarify, he does want you to buy his album so his friends at the label are happy.

8:04 p.m.–Mossberg and Moby discuss the RIAA’s decision to sue customers. Moby says that it’s never been cheaper to make music, videos, and promote albums. EMI, he thinks, broke even. So why are they alienating their customers?

8:06 p.m.–Blind item alert! Moby says that a few years ago, he was talking to a record label head, and when he asked the top honcho about their iTunes plan for their biggest star’s newest album, he was told, oh, we’re going to wait a couple months.

Moby then launches into philosophy mode and brings up the is/ought fallacy to illustrate his point, noting that the current music model “underpins the failure of major labels–they think, it used to be this way, so it ought to be this way.” Their ethos is, “Please go away. Make the future die.” Mossberg suggests he write a song/album with that title. Moby quips back with “Young People Suck” as a potential label-inspired tune.

8:12 p.m.–Moby adds a qualifier to his comments, touting Mute, his own record label. “Mute is wonderful, and they care about music–it’s the big major labels who have been egregiously bad stewards of music. It’s hard to feel bad for them when they’ve brought us some of the worst music ever created.” He then gets in a dig at Lars Ulrich of Metallica, saying that if he needs a “fur-lined walking humidor,” that’s him.

8:15 p.m.–Moby asks the audience if he can get pedantic for a moment. They cheer their assent. He then launches into a story about the early days of the Beatles, a band that got “lucky” because everything they did was in mono. “The first ‘Meet the Beatles’ was recorded in four hours. They played the songs and it was done.” He explains how this is not possible anymore.

8:18 p.m.–Yay! Moving on to a discussion about Auto-Tune, which “enables anyone to fake perfect pitch.” Moby declines to name names in his anecdotes, because he has enough feuds already, but singles out Cher’s “I Believe” as the first of the supremely auto-tuned songs, and mourns how kids can’t recognize real singing anymore. Next, a discussion of playback, aka the technology that failed Ashlee Simpson when she was reduced to her now infamous hoedown on “Saturday Night Live.”

8:23 p.m.–Memory lane for Mossberg. He recalls seeing the Supremes, and Simon & Garfunkel in the ’60s for $3/ticket in a gym, and how the concerts back then used to sound just like the album. But everything is much more complicated now.

8:25 p.m.–Moby talks about how he plays to bigger crowds in Europe, and how he can enjoy the concert experience. Playing in front of a big crowd, he says, with big production values, is the musician’s equivalent of playing the big penis card.

8:28 p.m.–Mossberg asks: When you make music, do you have to consider the fact that it’s going to be listened to on [Apple] iPods and [Microsoft] Zunes? Moby says sadly yes, and tells a story about how super-processed music works on the subway, because the noise of the L train doesn’t interfere with, say, a song by Rihanna, but the subtleties of Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” will get lost.

8:32 p.m.–Mossberg moves on to playing a snippet of the song “Pale Horses” from “Wait for Me” because we’re running late, and Moby says he has to pee–”Syphilis is a demanding mistress.” Mossberg: “Bill Gates doesn’t say that to me…I can’t believe I’m defending Microsoft.” Moby: “I’m just saying the Zune is clumsy as hell.” [For those lacking the implied sarcasm, Moby clarifies later on that he does not, in fact, have syphilis.]

Moby on “Pale Horses” and many of his other songs: 80% of the work is done in a couple days, but it’s the finishing stuff that is what really takes a really long time. To get the job done, he holes himself with the music–”Hopefully, a more benign version of Ted Kaczynski during the creative process.”

8:40 p.m.–Audience Q&A time. Moby is asked about his licensing deals, and says he doesn’t license music anymore, because he’s sick of being the whipping boy for the process. Which is ironic, because everyone’s selling out now. He adds that he initially licensed the music for “Play,” because it allowed more people to hear the album.

8:46 p.m.–Moby interrupts a question-asker to comment on how he wishes the stage were against the left window like a previous panel he was on, so everyone could get a glimpse of the view. The questioner then proceeds to take out a Chilean flag and hold it up before asking Moby if there’s relationship between his music and the cosmos. The short answer? Yes.

8:51 p.m.–Mossberg sums up the evening and offers kudos to Moby for sharing his time and process.

8:52 p.m.–Moby plugs a new tour date in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. And good night everybody!

And, here is a rather unusual cartoon video of Moby being interviewed by a dog that the Journal did:

[ See post to watch video ]

And, here is a video of Moby last week, talking about the digital impact of the music, in an interview on the Leonard Lopate radio show on WNYC:

Finally, here is a Q&A that Walt did with Flavorpill’s Caroline Stanley about a range of tech trends, as a preview to the event.

[Moby photo credit: AFP/Getty]

The Agony and Ecstasy of Paula & Simon (Plus: When Abdul Did D6)

Kara Swisher — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 17:44:05 +0000

BoomTown is wearing all-black today, in profound mourning for the prospect of no Paula Abdul judging on “American Idol” next season.

“With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return,” tweeted Abdul yesterday, bidding goodbye, natch, on Twitter.

Of course, her departure was over money–the boy talent, co-judge Simon Cowell and MC Ryan Seacrest, got a ton of it and Abdul got much less (although $2 million a year is a lot, it paled in comparison).

She is worth the scratch, though–especially considering how much the television singing juggernaut makes on Coke advertising placement alone–whether she was falling asleep in Carrie Underwood’s first audition or sleeping with contestants (allegedly!) or just doing that goofy seal clap and blathering out incomprehensible compliments to contestants.

Memo to News Corp. (NWS) TV unit Fox, which produces the TV show in the U.S.: Hand over more dough and pronto!

Sigh, as it is probably not to be–even though her bio is still on the “Idol” Web site.

So, here is a very funny video mashup done about her odd relationship with the acerbic Cowell.

Plus, here is a video from when Adbul also actually appeared–stranger than fiction–at the sixth D: All Things Digital conference.

She was there to help Activision Blizzard (ATVI) CEO Bobby Kotick publicly demo “Guitar Hero IV” for the first time, with the help of skateboarding star Tony Hawk.

I’ll be honest–I was sure she’d do something crazy, like goose Bill Gates of Microsoft (MSFT) or maybe fall off the stage–but she turned out to be a pro and forever my girl (oh, I had to).

Check it out, since I am off draping crepe at the All Things Digital HQ:

Paula & Simon:

Paula at D6:

[ See post to watch video ]

Dear Tim: Here's a Tour of the It-Takes-a-Licking-but-Keeps-on-Ticking AOL Brand

Kara Swisher — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 07:02:42 +0000

What’s next for AOL?

Reviving the “You’ve Got Mail!” motto?

Or: “The Future. Now Available.”–set to music from “The Jetsons”?

What about: “So easy to use, no wonder it’s #1!”

Or maybe, it should just use a nice loooooooong busy signal as its calling card again?

Well, it could happen, now that new CEO Tim Armstrong has fallen prey to the siren call of the AOL moniker, as have many–way too many–before him.

After years of seeing the company wander in the anything-but-the-AOL wilderness, Armstrong has decided to try to welcome the prodigal brand back home, even as he prepares to spin it off in November from Time Warner (TWX), trading on the New York Stock Exchange once again under the AOL stock ticker.

Thus, he has renamed the Platform A advertising unit AOL Advertising; changed its unfortunately named People Networks–which is made up of the communications and community properties–to AOL Communications; and done the same for its MediaGlow, which is now under AOL Media.

There is also in the new AOL-centric universe: AOL Local & Mapping and AOL Ventures, where all the bad acquisitions–like the Bebo social networking service–go to die.

While BoomTown admires Armstrong’s moxie, there is some dicey past history related to the AOL brand–which I lovingly call the “Christine” of the Internet industry–that he might want to be aware of:

* The start-up from which AOL first sprung was named Control Video Corp., which was founded to create a device that would allow users of the Atari 2600 videogame machine to download games over telephone lines.

* After it tanked, CVC was reborn in 1985 as Quantum Computer Services, which had offerings with names like Q-Link for Commodore computers and AppleLink for Apple (AAPL) Macintosh computers.

* In October 1989, the-AOL CEO, Steve Case, announced a company contest: What should Quantum rename its main online service?

The suggestions that came in—Crossroads, Explore and Infinity—sounded like drug treatment programs or new car brands.

Dismissing them all, Case offered a bland creation of his own: America Online, with a second option of Online America.

Other staffers understandably derided it as hokey, but Case essentially stuffed the ballot box and voted his suggestion the winner anyway.

Later, he would change it to just its initials, AOL.

* Case also hit on the idea of attaching voice files to the software with cheery little sound bites that would make the service feel homey.

The team settled on four phrases: “Welcome,” “You’ve got mail,” “File’s done,” and “Goodbye.”

A customer service representative named Karen Edwards had mentioned that her husband, Elwood, was a professional broadcaster, so for testing purposes, Case asked if Elwood might read those four phrases into a cassette tape.

The test tape was put into use, and Elwood Edwards, quite by chance, ended up having one of the most listened-to voices on the planet.

* In July 1993, AOL marketing chief Jan Brandt supersized the AOL brand by asking Case for permission to spend $250,000 on a direct-mail campaign.

She recalls him telling her it wouldn’t work. He told me in an interview he did no such thing.

Whatever the case, she got permission, and thus began the very low-tech marketing blitz of hundreds of millions of disks that would make AOL a household name—and annoyance.

There were even AOL disks flash-frozen in Omaha Steaks.

* In a 1993 meeting between Case and then-Microsoft (MSFT) CEO Bill Gates, annoyed by the innovative start-up, Gates famously told Case, “I can buy 20 percent of you or I can buy all of you. Or I can go into business myself and bury you.”

None of those ever came to pass, which is a reason to cheer the AOL brand. But–given Microsoft’s weak record in the online business–this is also not saying much.

* AOL’s brand has gone through a lot of name-calling, some of it quite deserved. Here are some: “The Online K-mart,” “America On Hold,” “The Giant Sucking Sound.”

But this one from its earliest days is my favorite: “The Cockroach of Cyberspace.”

* AOL did a lot of television commercials to hype the service, some of which you can see below. In one especially weird one, AOL hired Adam West of the goofy “Batman” television series.

* When AOL and Time Warner announced their merger on January 10, 2000, and renamed the company AOL Time Warner, AOL owned 55 percent and the combined market valuation was thought to be in the hundreds of billions.

Today, with Google (GOOG) selling back its five percent stake in AOL, AOL’s value has plummeted to about $6 billion. Time Warner is currently worth just over $33 billion.

* When Jon Miller–now digital head at News Corp. (NWS) took over at AOL in mid-2002, after said merger failed miserably and the brand was taken off the corporate name, he spent some time visiting the company’s other divisions, and related an anecdote to me that he’d told them, to try to help move the relationships forward.

“Have you ever had your car towed in New York?” he said he’d ask executives in other divisions. “When your car gets towed, there’s a sign at the place where you go to pick it up that says, ‘The person behind this window did not tow your car. If you cooperate with them, you will get your car back quicker.’”

Tim, Time Warner is still waiting for Christine to be returned, so good luck with that rebranding!

And, while we await the turnaround, here is a little video I did for Tim about my (lack of) AOL branding expertise with my assistant Ed, and also some of the better AOL television commercials:

[ See post to watch video ]

Walt Mossberg? We've Got an App for That!

Kara Swisher — Mon, 18 May 2009 03:09:09 +0000

That would be Walt Mossberg and his well-known Personal Technology and Mossberg Mailbox columns–as well as BoomTown, John Paczkowski’s Digital Daily, Peter Kafka’s MediaMemo, Katherine Boehret’s Mossberg Solution and video and photographs from our famous D: All Things Digital conferences.

Today, All Things Digital is introducing its very own app for Apple’s iPhone and the iPod touch, offering all the posts and columns you get on this Web site–including news, product reviews, analysis and video–from our crack team.

Just smaller and cuter.

All free. All mobile. And completely designed to let you access ATD content 24/7/365, which is how we like it.

In addition, the app will allow users to post links directly to both Facebook and Twitter, because we also like you to overshare our content.

Developed by the amazing team at NewsGator–with additional heavy lifting by ATD staffers Christine Mohan, Adam Tow and Mossberg–for some months, the app was first available in…Latvia and London. Also France and Australia.

Frankly, we don’t grok the method Apple (AAPL) uses to globally spawn apps, but it has now reached the U.S. at the iTunes store. You can also get info about the app here on our site.

So download us and take us along everywhere you go–ATD really enjoys long walks on the beach.

Here is the full press release about our newest digital delivery at ATD:

ALL THINGS DIGITAL LAUNCHES MULTIMEDIA APPLICATION ON APPLE APP STORE

App for iPhone and iPod touch offers tech and media news, product reviews, analysis and video from Walt Mossberg, Kara Swisher, John Paczkowski, Peter Kafka and Katherine Boehret

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (May 18, 2009)–All Things Digital today announced the launch of a new iPhone™ and iPod touch® application on the Apple App store.

Co-edited by Wall Street Journal columnist Walt Mossberg and BoomTown blogger Kara Swisher, the AllThingsD.com site launched in 2007 as the online extension of the annual “D: All Things Digital” conference, started by Walt and Kara in 2003 and attended by the digital elite.

The app makes exclusive content from AllThingsD.com and the D conference available for iPhone and iPod touch with a range of features and tools including:

• Kara’s BoomTown, John Paczkowski’s Digital Daily and Peter Kafka’s MediaMemo blogs and video

• Walt’s Personal Technology and Mossberg’s Mailbox columns, his videos and his Mossblog

• Katherine Boehret’s Mossberg Solution column and videos

• Ability to post article links and text descriptions directly to Twitter and Facebook, or to email them to a friend

• Galleries of D conference videos and photos including the full 2007 historic joint appearance by Steve Jobs and Bill Gates

• Live D7 conference coverage throughout the May 26-28, 2009 event.

“At AllThingsD.com we strive to deliver news, reviews and commentary that are both accurate and entertaining. Our app offers the same quality experience, enhanced by engaging photos and daily video,” said Mossberg. “All Things Digital for the iPhone is a smart, streamlined mobile application that we know iPhone and iPod touch owners interested in technology and media will enjoy.”

Developed using the NewsGator iPhone Media Application Framework, the All Things Digital app is designed to contain all the news and reviews from the Web site. As on AllThingsD.com, each journalist’s section is identified by specific color schemes and headshots, including stylized icons that emphasize each writer’s personality and beat. Customized navigation enables users to choose their favorite sections and personalize the content.

Availability

The All Things Digital app is available for free from Apple’s App Store on iPhone and iPod touch or at www.itunes.com/appstore/. For more information, go to www.allthingsd.com/mobile/iPhone.

###

About All Things Digital

All Things Digital (www.allthingsd.com) is devoted to news, analysis and opinion on technology, the Internet and media. Co-edited by Walt Mossberg and Kara Swisher, the site is the online extension of the annual “D: All Things Digital” conference started by Walt and Kara in 2003 and attended by the digital elite. The site is a mix of columns, blogs and video including Walt’s Personal Technology, Kara’s BoomTown, John Paczkowski’s Digital Daily, Peter Kafka’s MediaMemo and Katherine Boehret’s Mossberg Solution. AllThingsD.com is part of The Wall Street Journal Digital Network which includes WSJ.com, MarketWatch.com and Barrons.com.

Apple, iPhone and iPod are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries.

Liveblogging the Steverino (Ballmer) Show at Stanford: Soul Mates!

Kara Swisher — Wed, 06 May 2009 23:40:30 +0000

BoomTown went down to Silicon Valley’s most exclusive country club–also known as Stanford University–where Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer took to the stage today for a talk at Memorial Auditorium for the Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders Seminar.

4:32 pm PDT: Ballmer was pretty much on time, delivering a rousing hello and some good words about being back. He had attended Stanford Business School many moons ago, before dropping out and joining Microsoft (MSFT). Good move, I’d say.

He offered anyone in the room jobs, if they were smart, and then gave out his email. Although he did leave out the pertinent fact that the software giant just laid off 3,000 workers earlier this week.

Well, that.

Then, Ballmer launched into his speech, which began with him talking about the “tough economy.”

The slide behind him was a picture of a glass half-empty or half-full, depending on your attitude, with the notes:

Economic “Reset”

Less debt, more innovation and productivity.

Optimistic about the future.

4:40 pm: Ballmer then told his “entrepreneurial” story. There was a lovely picture of the young Ballmer with some hair. Not much, but some.

Lots of chatter about old computers ensued. Zzzzzzzz.

The early days of Microsoft were next, including how founder Bill Gates was worried about how Ballmer would bankrupt the nascent company by hiring more staff, a delightful story the pair told at our D: All Things Digital conference last year.

4:46 pm: Then the “emerging technology trends.”

Which are, according to Ballmer: many-core processing; screens everywhere; natural UI; all content digital.

Like All Things Digital! I always knew Steve and I were soul mates!

Because it is Microsoft, he moved into “software-powered experiences,” which means, according to Ballmer’s slide: a rich client + cloud, spans multiple devices and is persistent and personal.

“You world needs to be brought together,” said Ballmer. “You may not want to manage the cacophony of devices you deal with today.”

I may not. Or I may. Ballmer, may I?

4:55 pm: It was not a long or much of a content-rich speech. Ballmer wrapped up with the idea that “The Time Is Now.”

He noted that it is a great time for start-ups, with “all the right ingredients” that “dream big.”

What ingredients? What dreams? Ballmer was not saying much about his secret cooking tips for baking a tech behemoth.

4:57 pm: Time for questions from the students.

The first was about whether big- or small-company experience is better.

Both, said Ballmer. Depending on the problem. “You want to blend those things pretty well,” he said.

It is all about the ingredients! And blending. Also sifting, in my humble opinion.

The next question was about the state of the browser business.

Ballmer said it will get more innovative. We’re waiting!

The next was about what the main problem typically is with companies that have trouble making it.

“Too many companies can actually hang on for almost too long because there has been too much money funding these ideas,” said Ballmer.

Yes, we are soul mates!

5:04 pm: The next question was about the culture of a company from its start and how Ballmer has shaped Microsoft’s culture.

“I would say I have shaped Microsoft culture a lot,” he said. “Sometimes for the better, sometimes worse.”

Ballmer compares himself and Gates to “parents” of Microsoft.

That was very Iowa of him.

(As I said: soul mates!)

5:09 pm: The next question was about how he decided to leave Stanford Business School.

“They still have a spot for me if I want to go back and finish my MBA,” Ballmer joked.

But, he noted, it was not much of a risk to leave school.

When Ballmer did waver about going back to school, Gates convinced him to stay. Thank goodness, as he said he would have become an investment banker or a consultant.

The next question was about Google (GOOG), which was not named, I suppose for fear that it would set Ballmer off and there would be chairs a-flying.

“The No. 1 player [in search] is a lot bigger than us,” said Ballmer. “We are like a start-up.”

Well, a really, really, really rich start-up, which has been sued by the federal government for antitrust violations, and convicted.

5:14 pm: The next question was about ideas he might have missed.

Ballmer called himself “a mini-venture capitalist,” noting that figuring out what investments to make is tough.

He joked about the disastrous Microsoft Bob product. That always gets a laugh.

The next question was about how much attention Microsoft will give to cloud computing.

It gave him the chance to make a pun using the movie, “Three Men and a Baby,” noting that the “future is about three screens and a cloud.”

Ahahahahahahaha! Okay, not at all.

A question was asked about taking risks and tips for dealing with it.

“Valuable experience is valuable experience,” said Ballmer.

Say what? Is that a word puzzle? This is starting to feel like “Angels & Demons.”

Ballmer advised the students to “love doing the work that you’re doing.”

It is apparently all about the love at Microsoft. Who knew?

5:22 pm:

Two questions about consolidation, which is code for Yahoo (YHOO).

“I’m glad we went down the road,” said Ballmer, waxing nostalgic about the failed takeover attempt.

But he added he still thought a partnership of some sort between the pair is a good idea. “There may or may not be appropriate discussions,” said Ballmer.

There may. Or may not. Carol, may Steve?

Then there is some love for competitors, Facebook, even Apple (AAPL) for the iPhone.

Feel the love!

5:25 pm: The last question is about what he wished he had done if he could do it over.

He would have taken more computer science courses.

We are so not soul mates.

Welcome to Lucky D7: Still Gambling on the Digital Future

Kara Swisher — Mon, 04 May 2009 07:15:55 +0000

Incredibly, this is the seventh year of the D: All Things Digital conference.

We feel very lucky to get here, especially in the midst of what our own site’s Digital Daily scribe, John Paczkowski, has so perfectly dubbed the “econalypse.”

Ironically, Walt Mossberg and I planned to launch the very first conference in the middle of the last major downturn for tech, in 2001. But, in the carnage of the Web 1.0 meltdown, we actually held off for two years, with our first D gathering taking place in 2003.

It’s been a real winning streak since then for D, due in large part to our great speakers–such as Microsoft (MSFT) icon Bill Gates and Apple (AAPL) legend Steve Jobs.

Both have been onstage many times over the years, including a historic interview the pair of tech titans did together in 2007 at D5.

Other amazing speakers have included: Howard Stringer of Sony (SNE), Barry Diller of InterActiveCorp (IACI), legendary director George Lucas, Time Warner (TWX) CEO Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos of Amazon (AMZN), former eBay (EBAY) CEO Meg Whitman, News Corp. (NWS) head Rupert Murdoch, Microsoft head Steve Ballmer, Walt Disney (DIS) honcho Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick of Activision Blizzard (ATVI), CBS (CBS) CEO Les Moonves, Democratic and Republican pols like former Vice President Al Gore and Sen. John McCain, all the leadership of Google (GOOG) and many, many more.

We have had a lot of great moments onstage with all these tech and media players over the years, to be sure, with interviews ranging from the funny to the sublime to the truly disastrous.

But, like the digital industry and the innovation our conference focuses on, we also like to lean forward to try to figure out what the Next Big Thing is around the corner, whether it comes from Silicon Valley or not.

That’s why we’re kicking off our conference on May 26 with two of the founders of Twitter–Biz Stone and Evan Williams–who are riding high on tech’s latest hot thing, which might turn out to be either a rocket ship or a shooting star.

They’ll be followed up over the next two days by a plethora of interesting players, from the leaders of several major mobile companies to content execs hit hard by fast-moving digital forces to a new Internet leader like Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Carol Bartz, who is trying to turn around one of the Web’s great icons from its more recent lackluster path.

And, as we always do, we will be featuring a spate of demos too, trying to see if we can unearth that next next thing.

In the past, the D stage has seen the debut of start-up products like Sling Media’s Slingbox, Aliph’s Jawbone and Pure Digital’s Flip, all of which have gone onto glory. And also some, like Palm’s Foleo, which did not.

While not everyone can attend D, our crack staff is committed to bringing all the action from this year’s conference to readers of the All Things Digital site via up-to-the-minute blogs, photos, videos, tweets, digs and more. We’ll also, as soon as we can, post the videos of each of the onstage sessions, in their entirety.

Until it all kicks off, here is the list of speakers, below, in alphabetical order, who will be appearing at 2009’s D7 conference:

Irving Azoff | CEO of Ticketmaster Entertainment (TKTM)

Mitchell Baker | Chairman of Mozilla

Steve Ballmer | CEO of Microsoft

Carol Bartz | CEO of Yahoo

Mark Cuban | Chairman of HDNet and Owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Landmark Theaters and Magnolia Pictures

Eve Ensler | Playwright and Founder of V-Day

Arianna Huffington | Editor-in-Chief of the Huffington Post

Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo | CEO of Nokia (NOK)

Mike Lazaridis | Co-CEO of Research In Motion (RIMM)

John Lilly | CEO of Mozilla

John Malone | Chairman of Liberty Media Corporation (LCAPA)

Roger McNamee | Partner, Elevation Partners

Jon Miller | Chief Digital Officer of News Corp.

Jon Rubinstein | Executive Chairman, Palm (PALM)

Randall Stephenson | CEO of AT&T (T)

Biz Stone | Co-founder of Twitter

Owen Van Natta | CEO of MySpace

Katharine Weymouth | Publisher of the Washington Post (WPO)

Evan Williams | Co-founder and CEO of Twitter

Jeff Zucker | CEO of NBC Universal (GE)

BoomTown Channels Miss Cleo: A Twitter Transaction? More Facebook Follies? And Will There Finally Be a Yahoo-Microsoft Deal?

Kara Swisher — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 11:42:23 +0000

This weekend on Twitter, someone paid BoomTown a compliment of a sort: “I read you because you are a solid fact-based reporter with a Miss Cleo intuition “

Yipes, because of being fact-based, I had to point out that the well-known-via-infomercials Psychic Friends Network shaman turned out to be a bit of a fraud, although she’s always entertaining, with her jaunty Jamaican accent (she was not, of course, from there).

Nonetheless, it got me thinking about how I would predict what would result from all the deal-making that is suddenly in the air, after six months of ennui from the current economic downturn.

While Silicon Valley has been less impacted than, say, New York, things have certainly been tightening up here, with layoffs at big companies and small ones and less frenetic activity than one had come to expect from Web 2.0.

But last week, the pulse seemed to quicken a little with the various rumors that have swirled around Twitter, the variety of controversies around Facebook and the nascent chit-chatting now taking place between Yahoo (YHOO) and Microsoft (MSFT).

Thus, with a third eye to the future, here’s my take on what could happen. Big caveat, though: Much of what follows is all my speculation and analysis and not based on any psychic feelings.

TWITTER TWADDLE

Last week, I did a rather long reported post on what was going on after rumors broke out that Twitter was in “late-stage” acquisition negotiations with Google (GOOG).

While an imminent deal was not pending two weeks ago, I wrote that Twitter was indeed the apple of Google’s eye at the moment–specifically and now more so than ever, many sources tell me, of its Search Product VP Marissa Mayer–for some kind of search deal that could eventually lead to an acquisition.

But I also noted that Microsoft was also in the picture, vying for Twitter’s affections, and I doubted that Microsoft and Google would be the only ones interested in the hot-as-July-in-Alabama microblogging start-up.

Here’s the plus for Twitter: It’s on a hype rocket ship, its growth is also accelerating and it does not need money, since it just got a big slug of venture funding.

And that’s also a minus and why I also predict that there are only two outcomes: a sale very soon or a major investment by one of its suitors.

While I would love for its founders, including Biz Stone and CEO Evan Williams, to stick to their claims of remaining a “strong, profitable, independent company,” a cash offer of over $500 million or a cash-and-stock offer of slightly more will probably be enough to take them off the table, mostly because the getting might never get this good again.

That offer is most likely to come from Google, if I had to make a bet, which is well known for moving quickly when it sees a tasty treat it desires.

That’s a shame, since once the start-up actually does enter these kinds of “late-stage” talks for real, some deserved shine will come right off Twitter’s cute little MINI convertible of a company.

Instead, Twitter might want to take a page from Facebook and let itself grow its own as it explores revenue options, while perhaps taking a large investment and striking a significant commercial deal with a strategic partner like Google or Microsoft.

Then, with a modicum of independence and the possibility of acquisition if it turned out it needed help, Twitter could forge its own destiny.

And wouldn’t that be nice if Google or Microsoft didn’t just gobble up every innovative thing they cannot seem to think of on their own?

FACEBOOK FOLLIES

I will be reporting more very soon on what’s been going on as the powerful social-networking site deals with its fast-growing pains–up to 200 million users now, which is about as impressive at it gets in the Internet space.

Not so impressive is the variety of high-profile management mishaps that have plagued the company of late–from its Terms of Service debacle to its redesign rough road to the way Facebook recently parted with CFO GIdeon Yu.

To say Facebook treated Yu–a well-regarded figure in the tech sector, who had also raised an awful lot of funding for the start-up–with very little of the kind of grace he deserved and that it should have displayed is an understatement.

In the creation of a significant start-up, tensions inevitably flare and there is typically a lot of management turnover, which is natural, for a variety of reasons on all sides.

Why Facebook had to insecurely tout its stable financial state while backhandedly slapping Yu by saying it was in a search for a CFO with “public company experience”–Yu had enough public company experience to make that deeply insulting–was unclear, when it simply could have said he was moving on in the way most such partings are done.

The conflict between its public statement and an internal memo I obtained on Yu’s departure underscored the problem.

Insecure and way too focused on optics is probably an issue Facebook will have to deal with as it moves toward what the company hopes will be in IPO in 2010 or 2011. Rather than all the noise, its only goal should be shaping up its revenue and profit performance and, hopefully, building a cohesive management.

But does that mean current CEO and founder Mark Zuckerberg will have to eventually step aside before a public offering and make way for a more experienced CEO type, as Google co-founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page did for Eric Schmidt, as some have suggested?

I predict not. Because, for all his careening from crisis to crisis of late, I have no question that Zuckerberg–who has fended off big-money acquisition attempts by big players with a cool-cucumberness that Twitter’s execs should study carefully–has every intention of riding Facebook to the very top–or even bottom.

Clearly modeling himself as a modern-day Steve Jobs (who was fired before triumphantly returning) or Bill Gates (a better comparison), Zuckerberg is a visionary techie who wants to style himself as a crack businessman too.

And with a lot of control over the fate of Facebook, he’s going to see his vision of Facebook and himself out.

THE ODD COUPLE

Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

Oops, I mean can two once-bickering-over-a-hostile-takeover companies start talking without driving each other crazy?

Last week, the news, first reported here Friday, that Yahoo was involved in preliminary talks with Microsoft about an extensive commercial advertising and search partnership–should have come as no surprise.

After all, Yahoo and Microsoft are laggards in the lucrative search space, especially compared to the dominant Google, and they must somehow find a way to get along to get some traction in the marketplace.

But will they or will it be all Felix Unger and Oscar Madison battling until the end of time? While I loved that television show, and movie too, the Yahoo-Microsoft version is not riveting anymore to some.

“I am so bored with their not-coming-to-a-deal,” said one prominent exec, who was involved in the first go-round between the companies. “They need to make a deal, and if they don’t make a deal now, I will be both bored and in shock.”

That made me laugh out loud when I heard it. But it’s not funny, I know, because this is serious stuff!

Okay, then, seriously, this pair needs to come to some sort of partnership agreement like Miss Cleo needs a new reputation.

And, because I am a hopeful psychic, I predict they finally will, dropping all the emotion and history and realizing that they are wasting time and opportunity.

After all, while the future isn’t written, it can–a lot of the time–be both inevitable and utterly obvious.

Speaking of obviously (bogus), here is a video of Miss Cleo’s famous commercial:

Please see this disclosure related to me and Google.

Kara Visits TED (The Belated Video)

Kara Swisher — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:30:10 +0000

Last week, BoomTown traveled to Long Beach, Calif., to attend the TED conference, a longtime gathering of digerati and others who have come to love its eclectic and outward-looking program.

TED–which stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design–on its 25th anniversary moved here from Monterey this year for the first time, in order to accommodate its growing audience.

First held in 1984, Chris Anderson’s Sapling Foundation bought TED in 2001 from its founder, Richard Saul Wurman. TED has since grown to include an international conference, TEDGlobal; media initiatives, including TED Talks and TED.com; and the TED Prize.

The four-day TED2009, titled “The Great Unveiling,” included Microsoft (MSFT) co-founder Bill Gates unleashing a small swarm of mosquitoes in the hall, a long list of varied speakers and a whole lot of schmoozing.

Here is my belated video of the event. It features my All Things Digital partner Walt Mossberg, scenes from inside and outside the event (including “Eat, Pray, Love” author Elizabeth Gilbert onstage talking about genius), interviews with TED organizers Tom Rielly and Anderson, as well as my kids trying to steal entrepreneur Bill Gross’s futuristic car.

Here’s the video:

[ See post to watch video ]

And here is another video, where some TED attendees tell me what presentation blew their heads off with knowledge.

The "Billionaires' Dinner" at TED: Readjusted for the 2009 Econalyspe

Kara Swisher — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 10:13:43 +0000

Many years ago in the midst of the Web 1.0 boom, when working as a reporter for The Wall Street Journal, BoomTown redubbed an annual dinner that book agent John Brockman threw at the TED conference.

It was jokingly called the “Millionaires’ Dinner,” but I renamed it the “Billionaires’ Dinner.”

That was due to the frothy fortunes that had been made at the time by the Internet pioneers, from Amazon to AOL to eBay. Get it?!?

Well, despite the economic meltdown, there were still a lot of billionaires in attendance at Brockman’s most recent dinner last Thursday in Long Beach. But he recounted to me that the proceedings were a lot more focused on the serious times we are in, as was the whole digerati-packed conference held last week.

Indeed, Brockman now calls the event the “Edge Dinner,” after his lively Edge Web site, where he presides over a variety of eclectic online debates and discussions (in January, for example, the topic was: “DOES THE EMPIRICAL NATURE OF SCIENCE CONTRADICT THE REVELATORY NATURE OF FAITH?”).

Since I managed to miss the fete entirely (embarrassing confession: I fell dead asleep at 7 p.m. and did not wake until the next morning) and could not chronicle it, Brockman allowed me to post some photos from the event taken by him and by former Microsoft research guru and current intellectual property mogul Nathan Myhrvold.

Here are some, and you can see the rest here (click on the images to make them larger):

Google co-founder Larry Page and Applied Minds’ Danny Hillis

Former AOL kingpin and Revolution Health’s Steve Case and Jean Case, Case Foundation

Twitter CEO Evan Williams and Neoteny’s Joi Ito

Nathan Myhrvold, Google’s Marissa Mayer and Nathan Wolfe of Stanford University

Amazon Founder and CEO Jeff Bezos

Microsoft Co-founder Bill Gates and DEKA’s Dean Kamen

New Media Nabobs Tim O’Reilly and Arianna Huffington

A New Location for an Iconic Conference–and Here Come the TED Fellows

Kara Swisher — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 14:00:07 +0000

The well-known Technology, Entertainment, Design conference–better known to its techie fans as TED–will make its move from Monterey to Long Beach, in California, starting tomorrow night.

It’s a big change for the longtime gathering of digerati and others who have come to love its eclectic and outward-looking program, which is celebrating its 25th anniversary.

TED2009 is titled “The Great Unveiling.” And BoomTown is glad to be attending after several years away, especially since I always learn something new at TED (and I have a lot to learn).

It certainly has a varied lineup of speakers again this year, such as Microsoft (MSFT) Co-Founder Bill Gates, neurological anthropologist Oliver Sacks, writer Elizabeth Gilbert, tree researcher Nalini Nadkarni, Web political phenom Nate Silver and many others.

But I am perhaps even more intrigued by the introduction this year of the TED Fellows program, initially 50 individuals picked because of the “world-changing potential of their work.”

They will be invited to participate in the TED community each year, and some of the fellows will come for longer stints to future conferences.

The fellows program is supported by the Bezos family, the Harnisch Foundation, private donors and Nokia (NOK), with additional in-kind support from Kodak (EK), Lightscribe and One.org.

According to the press release, the fellows program was inspired by TED’s Africa program in 2007:

“The TED Fellows program will focus on attracting applicants living or working in five parts of the globe: the Asia/Pacific region, Africa, the Caribbean, Latin America and the Middle East, with consideration given to applicants from the rest of the world….The program focuses on innovators in technology, entertainment, design, science, film, art, music, entrepreneurship and the NGO community, among other pursuits.”

Said Tom Rielly, TED Community Director, who is responsible for the program: “TED will help them communicate their ‘ideas worth spreading’ to a much larger audience.”

Given the troubles all over the world these days, we could all use a much broader perspective.

You can read the longer list of fellows, who seem to deliver just that here, but some of the first participants include:

• Erik Hersman and Juliana Rotich, co-founders of Ushahidi.com, a Web site for citizen journalism, covering crises such as the Kenyan post-election violence

• Faisal Chohan, CEO of Cogilent Solutions and founder of BrightSpyre.com, the leading job portal in Pakistan

• Juliana Machado Ferreira, Brazilian CSI: Wildlife biologist who uses genetic markers to track, interdict and convict illegal songbird traffickers

• Gerry Douglas, founder of Malawi’s Baobab Health Partnership, which builds touchscreen terminals that allow non-doctors to diagnose, treat and correctly prescribe drugs for people with HIV

New Blog "Microsoft on the Issues" Needs Some Sassier Issues (BoomTown to the Rescue!)

Kara Swisher — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:00:58 +0000

With a new administration coming into power, it makes a lot of sense for Microsoft to launch its new “Microsoft on the Issues” blog this week.

Covering legal and policy issues, the opening post by Microsoft (MSFT) General Counsel Brad Smith noted:

Today we are launching ‘Microsoft on the Issues’ to open another, more direct line of communication that will enable us to quickly and succinctly provide our perspective on the pressing technology matters of the day. We do not want this to be a one-way conversation. We want to create a transparent dialogue with readers and stakeholders. We want to enhance our participation in discussions that propel policy-making at local, national and international levels.”

But, so far, with only two posts and few comments, it’s a tad dry–and, by that, I actually mean dull–and in desperate need of some spicy sauce to jazz up the joint.

Here are some modest BoomTown suggestions:

Never seen before behind-the-scenes photos of Microsoft honcho Bill Gates cracking wise with the legal team during the software giant’s antitrust trial in the late 1990s!

CEO Steve Ballmer’s personal ruminations in a “BOMB-er” blog on the dangers of Google (GOOG) dominance over search–the uncensored version!

A legal argument about how Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Jerry Yang should be declared incompetent for not taking Microsoft’s very, very, very generous offer. (Title: “Is It Something We Said?”)

Microsoft’s collection of the outtakes from the Jerry Seinfeld commercials, with a very special essay about the Constitutional right to be extremely weird.

No?

I guess, as Smith wrote, it will be a “wide range of issues, from broadband access, online privacy and data portability to intellectual property protection, competition law, international trade and immigration.”

Also, he promises to write about the “next wave in the computing revolution and its potential to use the power of software and the Internet in new ways to enhance choice for consumers, businesses and governments.”

Thus, the first post–on workforce development and skills training by Global Corporate Affairs VP Pamela Passman.

In any case, I am still waiting for that Ballmer blog.

TiVo Las Vegas: Walt, Katie, Peter and BoomTown Head to CES

Kara Swisher — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:00:25 +0000

With Macworld out of the way (basic verdict: Phil Schiller did not bomb), a chunk of the crack All Things Digital squad is now winging its way both east and west to the annual gadgetopocalypse in Las Vegas, a.k.a. the Consumer Electronics Show.

Despite the fact that the show is feeling the pinch of the economy–I was able to get a better room at a cheaper price last night, which was unheard of in the past–and that there are really no big products to speak of, except perhaps the new Palm (PALM) smartphone, CES is still one of the biggest and most important gatherings of the tech year.

Las Vegas turns into a geek moshpit every year–with the spicier pornies thrown in, with that industry’s convention also taking place at the same time–as legions of vendors, buyers, press and others converge to be overwhelmed for days by noise, long lines for cabs, keynotes, demos and more.

That also means the ATD team, including: Walt Mossberg, who gets the kind of attention from techies at CES normally reserved for Brangelina; Mossberg Solution columnist Katherine Boehret, who trolls the convention center floor looking for cool new products; MediaMemo’s Peter Kafka, who has scheduled himself to the gills; and me, who has not.

Still, there will be parties thrown by Facebook, CBS (CBS) and more to attend, a cornucopia of gadgetry to try and panels to moderate (I am manning one supersession called, I kid you not: “What Will They Think of Next? Consumer Technology in 2025″).

Also, I’ll be honest, gambling at the Pussycat Dolls Lounge with a passel of nerds.

Between the hands of poker, look for our ongoing coverage over the next few days, including interviews, videos and news (we hope!).

It will all begin tonight with coverage of Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer’s preshow opening keynote, taking over from longtime first-nighter Bill Gates.

Until then, here is the fabulous Ann-Margret doing a mean bugaloo in “Viva Las Vegas” (the Pussycat Dolls have nothing on her) with super-handsome-phase Elvis Presley singing like a dream:

This Week in Tech: A Dull CES, but (Gasp!) an Even Duller Macworld!

Kara Swisher — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 13:00:23 +0000

BoomTown is not saying it’s going to be like watching grass grow.

But 2009 is not exactly getting off to a rousing start this week–with a pair of definitely underwhelming blockbuster tech events taking place that already have more of an air of whimper than of bang to them.

That would be the Consumer Electronics Show, the annual egregious gadgetfest in Las Vegas, and the final appearance by Apple (AAPL) at Macworld in San Francisco.

Of course, while CES tries to fend off the spate of no-one-is-going-to-CES stories–well, I am!–the absence of his digital Holiness and Apple CEO Steve Jobs at Macworld has really generated most of the glumness.

[UPDATE: In a public letter, Jobs says he has a "hormone imbalance" and will stay on as CEO as he recovers.]

Still, the keynote cancellation by Jobs–which started off a new round of is-he-sicker? rumors–is profoundly depressing for Macworld.

After all, it was only two years ago that he practically blew out every geek mind with the introduction of the iPhone there. (See a part of that masterful performance in a video below.)

Thus, it falls to Apple’s SVP of Worldwide Product Marketing, Phil Schiller, to be thrilling–with exactly what, it is still unclear. Rumors abound, none of which are very promising (New iLife and iWork! New Mac mini! Zzzzzzzz).

There is, of course, the vain hope that Schiller will end his speech by uttering Jobs’s patented “one more thing” line, wherein Jobs will walk out (without a walker!), wave and create what would be a genuine frenzy, especially since the last sighting of him was at a yogurt store.

As to CES, there is no big or new product trend to point to, except rumor of a possibly exciting intro of a touchscreen smartphone from Palm (PALM) with a slide-down keyboard. Wheeeee!

Some keynote speakers include Sony (SNE) CEO Sir Howard Stringer, Ford Motor Co. (F) CEO Alan Mulally, Intel (INTC) Chairman Craig Barrett and Cisco (CSCO) CEO John Chambers.

Interestingly, the absence of former Microsoft (MSFT) head Bill Gates at CES–long announced, after more than a dozen times there–caused no weeping and rending of garments, as did Jobs’s nonappearance.

In his place, there will be a keynote by the software giant’s CEO, Steve Ballmer, in which no major announcement seems to be coming.

Still, one can dream, and I desperately hope Ballmer will say “one more thing” and out will come Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Jerry Yang to announce a big honking search deal, finally putting to bed one of 2008’s longest-running soap operas.

What can I say? This is tech and, for us (okay, me, at least), that would be exciting.

Speaking of gripping, I dare you to watch this 2007 iPhone intro performance by Apple’s Jobs and not be deeply impressed by his stylings: