So, I have been standing by, trying to make sense of the debate that has swirled around Apple CEO, Co-Founder and font-of-all, Steve Jobs, with regard to his health or, more specifically, the lack thereof.

And after listening to all of the debate about it–mostly indignant declarations by the media, making their case mostly by wheedling milder indignant declarations from stock analysts and corporate tsk-tsk outfits–I have concluded that what is ailing Jobs is exactly no one’s business.

Even if his every breath is critical to the ongoing operations of Apple, the reason most use as their main argument for Jobs to tell all, it goes double.

Why?

Well, any Apple (AAPL) investor has to know by now that Jobs suffered from a rather serious bout with a curable version of pancreatic cancer some years ago and that recovery includes inevitable complications.

That was on display when he took to the stage of Apple’s most recent Worldwide Developers Conference in mid-June and looked really gaunt and unhealthy. It was obviously hard to look away.

People immediately reacted like it was the end of the world–which is no surprise given Apple’s rabid following–and began to suddenly acquire instant medical degrees and diagnose Jobs on the spot.

In its typically secretive style, Apple did not help matters by throwing out a thin gruel of information and noting it was only a common bug.

Of course, that felt like a bigger whopper than usual–even if he did, in fact, also have a cold, it kind of begged the question of what accounted for the rest of his haggard appearance.

In any case, the chatter went on and on, right up until the most recent quarterly earnings call when Apple’s CFO said, when asked that Jobs’s health, that it was a “private matter.”

Immediately, that sent the debate into a frenzy, as armchair word detectives went into overdrive about exactly what that meant. (Personally, I think it meant that Apple was saying Jobs’s health was a private matter.)

This weekend, the noise level reached a quantum level after Jobs made a can’t-make-this-up statement to New York Times columnist Joe Nocera, who was inquiring as to Jobs’s well-being:

“This is Steve Jobs. You think I’m an arrogant [expletive] who thinks he’s above the law, and I think you’re a slime bucket who gets most of his facts wrong.”

Now that just cracked me up, given all that had gone on before, although some were once again indignant over the gall of a major company CEO making such a statement.

Obviously, they have never met or heard Jobs, who is well known for doing such things pretty much all the time.

And that’s the problem here and my main argument for leaving him be:

1) As I said, Apple investors who have not figured Jobs’s precarious health–after a round with any kind of cancer–into their investment strategies about Apple going forward need some serious reality medication themselves.

Guess what? Jobs has been really sick and it means he is going to have a harder time with any kind of infection or complication for the rest of his life, and he will likely be more delicate than someone who has not had cancer.

By the way, the take-away from the Nocera article and an earlier one last week in the New York Times was that Jobs had been quite ill, but not life-threateningly ill. Which was Jobs’s way of getting out the news.

2) Jobs is one of the most important CEOs, in relation to his company, around. (Warren Buffett, who did choose to reveal all when he was sick, is the other.) And that’s another thing investors should be figuring into their calculations on the worth of the stock.

As Jobs himself said in a famous commencement speech to Stanford University: “No one wants to die. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.”

You don’t have to get as dramatic as all that to know that when you are talking about such a charismatic and critical CEO as Jobs, any lack of involvement by him–like say going on a year-long yoga retreat–is going to be a problem that investors are buying when they buy the stock.

Of course, there are other Apple employees making things work at the company, although it sometimes feels as if Jobs is crafting every iPhone that goes out.

But it’s obviously the Steve Jobs Show, and investors risk that when they buy such a ticket–kind of like anyone who bought a ticket to Celine Dion’s recent show in Las Vegas and hoped she would not get, like, a common cold!

3) And, of course, we get to the secretive Apple culture story line in every single story, which is trotted out like it is a surprise and we should all be so angry about it and demand change.

Again, have we not been paying attention all these many years? When has Apple not been secretive, except when it suits itself?

Here are a few more shockers for those still stewing about Apple’s secretiveness: Sen. Barack Obama is African-American and Sen. John McCain is old and some people in the country are racist and ageist and may hold those things against them in the upcoming Presidential election!

All kidding aside, it’s the same media that wait in eager anticipation when Jobs doles out the often-disingenuous tidbits about various Apple products coming and then hype them to the high heavens for him when he deigns to unveil them.

In other words, the Steve Jobs you are getting right now is the Steve Jobs you have always gotten–on his terms, what he wants to say and when and how.

So don’t be surprised when he does just that.

Meanwhile, Jobs has come to our D: All Things Digital conference many times and chatted up a storm. Here he is in a highlights reel of the historic joint interview with Microsoft CEO and Founder Bill Gates in 2007.

In it, Jobs is quite voluble about their longtime rivalry and also reveals their secret relationship that dares not speak its name (he is kidding):

Digital Daily’s John Paczkowski was unimpressed, as were Duncan Riley of TechCrunch and ZDNet’s Mary Jo Foley, for example.

But, to my mind, giving the Microsoft co-founder and chairman a hard time at this point is sort of like razzing Celine Dion, who coincidentally also just completed her own longtime run in Las Vegas in her Caesars Palace show, “A New Day.”

In other words, let’s just all admit that–as irksome as both have sometimes been–they do kind of grow on you after a while.

While that may be still debatable with Dion, I know, it is squarely the case with Gates, who has had the longest-running and most complicated relationship with the tech industry, even as he has dominated it for most of the past two-plus decades.

Gates’s impact will surely be chewed over in the history books in centuries hence–likely as not, always with the Yin to his Yang, Steve Jobs of Apple.

And, despite all the controversy his tenure has engendered (most especially the bullying antitrust behavior), as he transitions from his day-to-day role at Microsoft in July in what will likely be one of the longer goodbyes in the digital arena (including his sixth appearance at our D6 conference in May), I am guessing his influence will be seen as a net plus in the years to come.

While many level charges at Microsoft as a hindrance to innovation over the years, via the overwhelming dominance of its Windows operating system, the fact of the matter is that the digital industry has never been more fast-moving and quick-changing, and it remains one of the brighter spots in the pantheon of businesses worldwide.

While that is not because of Gates and Microsoft alone, it is also not in spite of them either. In fact, it’s quite bracing to see Gates attempt to make quick shifts over the years as technology has raced past him, an indication of just how powerful change is compared to the world’s richest man.

Very powerful, as it has turned out, and watching Gates try to keep up has been a perfect metaphor for all those who labor in the tech sector.

His famous December, 1995 sleeping-giant-has-awakened speech about the Internet was a case in point, as were his aggressive moves in later years into a wide range of arenas such as gaming, search, online services, social networking and even an attempt to take on the iPod hegemony with the Zune.

It is clear that most of Microsoft’s efforts outside of its core software business–and a great business it remains, by the way–have been less impressive. But it points to a key factor that never changes throughout the tech arena that even the giants are always vulnerable.

Now, going forward, what Microsoft will do post-Gates, of course, is all that matters.

Will it try to vaunt ahead in the search and portal arena and catch No. 1 Google by attempting to acquire Yahoo?

Will it use its popular Xbox to finally move successfully into the home-entertainment space, as evidenced by announcements Gates made last night at CES about deals with media giants like NBC Universal and others?

Can its MSN ever be more than just an also-ran portal?

What will happen to software in the years ahead as applications inevitably move to the Web?

Gates will not be the one to figure it all out, as he will be off, focused on his laudable philanthropic work when these questions and more get answered.

But even he could not have made an accurate guess onstage last night, as much as pundits wanted him to.

In fact, one of the more tiresome things to endure at CES–aside from the long lines–is always having to listen to the spate of predictions of what is to come, when, the truth is, no one really knows how it will all turn out.

It was always thus. After all, reaching way back in history: Wasn’t the launch of the Titantic supposed to herald in the age of high-tech super-boats? Of course, no one figured in the tragic results from its encounter with an iceberg.

But it did make for a pretty good song, so let’s enjoy a bit of Celine to send Bill Gates off on what one hopes is a much safer journey: