BoomTown is certainly going to be one of the many-so-many who immediately fork over whatever it takes to get my mitts on the upcoming tablet device from Apple.

And that’s why, according to a new report from Piper Jaffray Senior Research Analyst Gene Munster–who is monk-like in his devotion to writing down every scrap of information he can scrape up about whatever Apple HQ in Cupertino, Calif., deigns to release–it’s going to be raining money down on the company, just like manna from heaven.

That would be $1.2 billion in revenue in calendar year 2010, after he estimated that Apple (AAPL) will sell two million units at a price of $600.

“While at first glance this may appear to address a niche market, we believe the addressable market is larger than that of the Apple TV, of which Apple sold about 1.2m in its first year,” wrote Munster.

He apparently spoke to some leaky Asian component suppliers, who have received orders from Apple, to be “fulfilled by late CY09.”

Munster, who also provided the mock-up image of the Jesus Tablet seen above (it will take its place next to the Jesus Phone and Jesus Pod), wrote that the device was pretty much a larger iPod touch.

It will run all the usual apps and have some extra ones, specially designed for the big screen, he predicted.

It will also be Web-connected and, of course, is a touchscreen and play all kinds of media, like music, games and video.

But don’t call it a netbook!

“We believe an Apple tablet would be priced 30%-50% below the $999 MacBook, and would offer best in class web, email, and media software,” wrote Munster. “In other words, we believe Apple’s tablet would compete well in the netbook category even though it would not be a netbook.”

Also, there will be a 3G modem–personally, we all pray Apple picks Verizon (VZ) and not AT&T (T) to be the mobile provider–with a possible subsidy on the sale of the device.

The hype around the new and doubtlessly innovative Apple product–my vote for a name is that it will be called iTablet–is likely to grow into the fall, especially if it is introduced by the miraculously on-the-mend CEO Steve Jobs.

Apple fanboys: Can you say Hallelujah?

Now, it’s getting flat-out macabre.

That would be the continuing swirl of attention the health of Apple icon Steve Jobs has been getting.

Rumors of his impending demise have been popping up periodically since the too-thin crisis of the Worldwide Developers Conference in June and look like they won’t stop until it actually comes true.

My grandmother used to have a perfect rejoinder for this kind of funeral-chasing behavior, which was prevalent among her gang of Italian sisters, who–whenever anyone caught a cold–predicted the worst outcome: “Don’t be a crepe-hanger.”

This time, more rumors surfaced yesterday in Gizmodo, curiously, a week before the Macworld at which he is famously not appearing. The site used a single–yes, that’s right–source saying his illness and not Apple’s business troubles with the conference’s organizer, IDG, was the reason for his pull-out.

The rumor, of course, sent Apple (AAPL) shares into a tailspin for the day, before others–such as CNBC’s Jim Goldman–posted just-as-strong refutations of the Jobs-Is-On-His-Last-Legs stories.

Blogger Robert Scoble even talked to a worker at a yogurt store that Jobs frequents and got a health report (good!).

Oh, dear–yogurt workers as medical experts? What’s next? Brain surgery consultation from the Starbucks barista? This is what we’ve descended to?

It has to stop, because the fact of the matter is that Jobs’s health is still nobody’s business, as it has not been throughout this bizarre obsession with one man’s personal issues.

In a post in late July, the last time this issue surged, I wrote:

And after listening to all of the debate about it–mostly indignant declarations by the media, making their case mostly by wheedling milder indignant declarations from stock analysts and corporate tsk-tsk outfits–I have concluded that what is ailing Jobs is exactly no one’s business.

Even if his every breath is critical to the ongoing operations of Apple, the reason most use as their main argument for Jobs to tell all, it goes double.

Why?

Well, any Apple investor has to know by now that Jobs suffered from a rather serious bout with a curable version of pancreatic cancer some years ago and that recovery includes inevitable complications.”

And, indeed, the only decent argument you can make to focus so intently on Jobs’s health of any relevance is the impact on Apple company stock, which is self-righteously trotted out each time these specious reports emerge.

The thing is, a lot of companies have been run by execs with health issues (and countries too–VP Dick Cheney’s ticker has been misfiring for a long time now, for example, and he still seems to have been running the show with a verve we wish he perhaps did not have so much of now).

But, to be fair, I will acknowledge the issue. But if anyone does not get that Apple’s CEO has health issues by now, they are ignorant in the extreme. The situation should be baked into the stock price.

In addition, Apple is run by a lot of other competent people besides Jobs and they too are part of its success. Here’s a news flash–Steve Jobs does not conceive, manufacture and wrap every iPhone and iPod.

That is the kind of mythology that has, of course, been propagated a lot by Apple and it is–like a lot of things–a bit true in a bigger concept.

But, as I recently said, when Jobs inevitably leaves the company, probably on his own two feet in retirement, the Cupertino HQ will not suddenly be taken up to the skies as if it were the rapture.

Maybe the yogurt shop guy knows about when that’s going to happen.

Speaking of rapture, here’s singer Jill Sobule singing about that at a recent D: All Things Digital conference.

And, in a second video, she sings perfectly about how we should behave when it comes to what is inevitable for us all. People riveted by Jobs’s fate might do well to take her sage advice.

Here are the videos:

BoomTown extends apologies to the late Francis P. Church, who penned the original “Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus” editorial in the New York Sun on Sept. 21, 1897.

But with just a little rejiggering, his eloquent words work perfectly as a translation for Apple’s press release about its withdrawal from San Francisco’s Macworld and no keynote speech from Apple CEO Steve Jobs yesterday, which doubtlessly shook the Apple (AAPL) faithful to the core.

Oddly enough, it matches up surprisingly–and a little disturbingly–well.

Thus, here’s a little holiday inspiration to help those poor souls make it through these darkest of days:

Dear Editor:

I am 28 years old. Some of my little fanboys say there is no Steve Jobs at Macworld. My imaginary friend at AppleInsider says, ‘If you see it on BoomTown, it’s so.’ Please tell me the truth, is there a Steve Jobs?

–O’Hanlon, a geek in Virginia”

Apple wrote: CUPERTINO, California—December 16, 2008—Apple today announced that this year is the last year the company will exhibit at Macworld Expo. Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing, will deliver the opening keynote for this year’s Macworld Conference & Expo, and it will be Apple’s last keynote at the show. The keynote address will be held at Moscone West on Tuesday, January 6, 2009 at 9:00 a.m. Macworld will be held at San Francisco’s Moscone Center January 5-9, 2009.

Translation: Virginia geek, your little friends are wrong (and they also have no life, which is self-evident). They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia geek, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. Not as elegantly tiny as the iPod Nano, but little nonetheless. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Apple wrote: Apple is reaching more people in more ways than ever before, so like many companies, trade shows have become a very minor part of how Apple reaches its customers. The increasing popularity of Apple’s Retail Stores, which more than 3.5 million people visit every week, and the Apple.com website enable Apple to directly reach more than a hundred million customers around the world in innovative new ways.

Translation: Yes, Virginia geek, there is a Steve Jobs. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion and the fabled touchscreen tablet Mac exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Steve Jobs! It would be as dreary as if there were no amazingly great iPhones. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance, no Pull My Finger app to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Apple wrote: Apple has been steadily scaling back on trade shows in recent years, including NAB, Macworld New York, Macworld Tokyo and Apple Expo in Paris.

Translation: Not believe in Steve Jobs! You might as well not believe in those admittedly freaky iPod shadow dancers. You might get your other pretend friend at MacRumors to hire men to watch in all the Chinese manufacturing factories on Christmas eve to catch Steve Jobs, but even if you did not see Steve Jobs ordering up new Mini desktop computers, what would that prove? Nobody sees Steve Jobs, but that is no sign that there is no Steve Jobs. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see the iPod dancers dancing bizarrely on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

Apple wrote: Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Today, Apple continues to lead the industry in innovation with its award-winning computers, OS X operating system and iLife and professional applications.

Translation: You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, and the fact that the Mac guy vs. PC guy ads are pure genius can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia geek, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

Apple wrote: Apple is also spearheading the digital media revolution with its iPod portable music and video players and iTunes online store, and has entered the mobile phone market with its revolutionary iPhone.

Translation: No Steve Jobs! Thank God! he lives and lives forever, despite Henry Blodget-fueled health rumors to the contrary. A thousand years from now, Virginia geek, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of Mac fanboyhood.

Hey, did you hear that Apple is launching some sort of new notebook thingamabob today?

If you didn’t, it can’t be because the Apple-product-release-hyper-hype cycle let you down.

Below, for example, is a screen grab Techmeme’s top stories early today. This list will balloon to more and more obese proportions as soon as the much-leaked rumors–a new MacBook from a single piece of godlike metal! With a sleek black border! And some secret-looking inputs to spin gold from hay at home!–about what the iconic computer maker is up to are officially confirmed or not this morning.

That you can always feel the anticipation in the air whenever Apple makes any move is, in a way, fascinating.

And the news-to-come was even boosting Apple’s shares yesterday, which have been taking a severe beating in the recent market meltdown and, before that, on false rumors of a heart attack suffered by Apple’s CEO Steve Jobs.

All seems to be forgiven from when Apple (AAPL) underwhelmed at its “Let’s Rock” event only a month back, where its ho-hum redo of its iPod line failed to live up to all the breathless excitement of its fanboys.

No matter. Next!

AllThingsD.com’s Johnny Apple-blogger John Paczkowski of Digital Daily will be there, of course, posting at the media-clogged launch, as it happens, and mightily contributing to the blog-smog that will start collecting over Cupertino, Calif., at 10 a.m. PDT.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

As usual before yet another big Apple event, the psychic friends network is in overdrive in anticipation of the iconic computer company’s “Let’s Rock” media gathering in San Francisco tomorrow.

At this point, I think Apple could announce a change in the color of its bathrooms at its Cupertino HQ and it would be mayhem among the Mac faithful.

Nonetheless, even though what will be announced is likely to be a series of incremental improvements for Apple’s line of music-playing products–iTunes, iTouch and, of course, the iPod–and even the possibility of a revamped design, it’s astonishing how striking the hype is around the event.

Of course, that kind of passion from core users is a blessing for any tech company, and it is hard to quibble with Apple’s stellar ability to market every jog and tittle of its product development as if it was the second coming.

But the most intense focus will more likely be on Apple’s leader, CEO Steve Jobs, whose gaunt appearance at the Worldwide Developers Conference in June set off a flurry of discussion about the exact state of his health.

That talk has since been less frantic, despite the fact that there actually has been no clear announcement from Apple (AAPL) on the delicate subject (and Jobs’s colorful off-the-record chat with the New York Times’s Joe Nocera does not count, folks).

In any case, because AllThingsD.com cannot resist either, Digital Daily’s John Paczkowski will be there liveblogging “Let’s Rock” from the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, with all the news that’s fit to post.

And, of course, everything else too.