Some interviews will be quite serious (Eve Ensler, talking about the dire situation in the Congo) and some possibly funny (Mark Cuban, who simply defies definition).

But this picture that Twitter founder and CEO Evan Williams posted today on his Flickr page is easily the most unusual bit of research I have come across.

Here it is, aptly titled, “This doesn’t seem awkward at all”:

Taken at Time magazine’s Time 100 fete in New York recently, where the pair were among this year’s honorees, Williams and fellow Twitter founder Biz Stone were looking, well, I could not say at first just what the microblogging potentates were looking like.

That is, until I compared the photo with the one below of Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller, who played supermodels Hansel and Derek in the nearly perfect movie, “Zoolander.”

Is it the “Blue Steel” pose?

How lucky that All Things Digital readers can see the pair strut their stuff onstage in real-time (how Twittery of us!), starting next Tuesday night in posts and videos, in the opening night interview Walt Mossberg and I will conduct with Williams and Stone.

In their honor we’ve already tweeted–in fewer than 140 characters each–their bios thusly for our program–I hope they appreciate our editorial license with their short and sweet lives:

Williams was raised on a farm in Nebraska, dropped out of college, was co-founder of Pyra Labs, which created Blogger and sold to Google.

Stone helped found things besides Twitter: Xanga, Blogger and Odeo. He worked for Google with Blogger. He once won a debate at Oxford Union.

You can also see the rest of the D7 speaker list and click to more bios here.

[Photo of Williams and Stone courtesy of Evan Williams on Flickr.]

Incredibly, this is the seventh year of the D: All Things Digital conference.

We feel very lucky to get here, especially in the midst of what our own site’s Digital Daily scribe, John Paczkowski, has so perfectly dubbed the “econalypse.”

Ironically, Walt Mossberg and I planned to launch the very first conference in the middle of the last major downturn for tech, in 2001. But, in the carnage of the Web 1.0 meltdown, we actually held off for two years, with our first D gathering taking place in 2003.

It’s been a real winning streak since then for D, due in large part to our great speakers–such as Microsoft (MSFT) icon Bill Gates and Apple (AAPL) legend Steve Jobs.

Both have been onstage many times over the years, including a historic interview the pair of tech titans did together in 2007 at D5.

Other amazing speakers have included: Howard Stringer of Sony (SNE), Barry Diller of InterActiveCorp (IACI), legendary director George Lucas, Time Warner (TWX) CEO Jeff Bewkes, Jeff Bezos of Amazon (AMZN), former eBay (EBAY) CEO Meg Whitman, News Corp. (NWS) head Rupert Murdoch, Microsoft head Steve Ballmer, Walt Disney (DIS) honcho Bob Iger, Bobby Kotick of Activision Blizzard (ATVI), CBS (CBS) CEO Les Moonves, Democratic and Republican pols like former Vice President Al Gore and Sen. John McCain, all the leadership of Google (GOOG) and many, many more.

We have had a lot of great moments onstage with all these tech and media players over the years, to be sure, with interviews ranging from the funny to the sublime to the truly disastrous.

But, like the digital industry and the innovation our conference focuses on, we also like to lean forward to try to figure out what the Next Big Thing is around the corner, whether it comes from Silicon Valley or not.

That’s why we’re kicking off our conference on May 26 with two of the founders of Twitter–Biz Stone and Evan Williams–who are riding high on tech’s latest hot thing, which might turn out to be either a rocket ship or a shooting star.

They’ll be followed up over the next two days by a plethora of interesting players, from the leaders of several major mobile companies to content execs hit hard by fast-moving digital forces to a new Internet leader like Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Carol Bartz, who is trying to turn around one of the Web’s great icons from its more recent lackluster path.

And, as we always do, we will be featuring a spate of demos too, trying to see if we can unearth that next next thing.

In the past, the D stage has seen the debut of start-up products like Sling Media’s Slingbox, Aliph’s Jawbone and Pure Digital’s Flip, all of which have gone onto glory. And also some, like Palm’s Foleo, which did not.

While not everyone can attend D, our crack staff is committed to bringing all the action from this year’s conference to readers of the All Things Digital site via up-to-the-minute blogs, photos, videos, tweets, digs and more. We’ll also, as soon as we can, post the videos of each of the onstage sessions, in their entirety.

Until it all kicks off, here is the list of speakers, below, in alphabetical order, who will be appearing at 2009’s D7 conference:

Irving Azoff | CEO of Ticketmaster Entertainment (TKTM)

Mitchell Baker | Chairman of Mozilla

Steve Ballmer | CEO of Microsoft

Carol Bartz | CEO of Yahoo

Mark Cuban | Chairman of HDNet and Owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Landmark Theaters and Magnolia Pictures

Eve Ensler | Playwright and Founder of V-Day

Arianna Huffington | Editor-in-Chief of the Huffington Post

Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo | CEO of Nokia (NOK)

Mike Lazaridis | Co-CEO of Research In Motion (RIMM)

John Lilly | CEO of Mozilla

John Malone | Chairman of Liberty Media Corporation (LCAPA)

Roger McNamee | Partner, Elevation Partners

Jon Miller | Chief Digital Officer of News Corp.

Jon Rubinstein | Executive Chairman, Palm (PALM)

Randall Stephenson | CEO of AT&T (T)

Biz Stone | Co-founder of Twitter

Owen Van Natta | CEO of MySpace

Katharine Weymouth | Publisher of the Washington Post (WPO)

Evan Williams | Co-founder and CEO of Twitter

Jeff Zucker | CEO of NBC Universal (GE)

BoomTown, who never met a Yahoo story I didn’t like to write up, is handing over the stage today to hyperactive entrepreneur Mark Cuban, who just weighed in on what Yahoo should do.

Literally, his post yesterday on his Blog Maverick site is titled “What Yahoo Should Do,” and he lays waste to a lot of the conventional wisdom about the Internet portal’s fate.

Cuban and Yahoo have a rocky history. Yahoo bought his company, Broadcast.com, in the Web 1.0 boom in 1999 for $5.7 billion in stock, which Cuban promptly sold at the peak.

Since then, he’s used the billions he garnered to conduct the longest-running I-told-you-so in the digital industry, including being on the alternate board when Carl Icahn was waging a proxy fight against Yahoo (YHOO) earlier this year.

(Full disclosure: Cuban has recently also gotten into a tussle with the SEC recently.)

Let’s just say, Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang is not a fan. Ironically, in the piece, Cuban seems to be a big fan of Yahoo, or–more precisely–of its potential.

First, Cuban discounts any purchase of Yahoo’s search business by Microsoft (MSFT)–sorry, Carl. And not because Yahoo does not want to sell, but because he thinks the software giant will not waste its cash horde, as it gears up to fight Google (GOOG).

“Why anyone thinks that Microsoft is stupid enough to give up what amounts to most, if not all of their liquidity is beyond me. Particularly when their net current assets have now fallen a little below Google’s. Between liquid assets and borrowing capacity, both have about the same amount of ‘powder’ in place in the event ‘the next big thing’ appears on the radar. I doubt either wants to be at a disadvantage to the other when it comes to potential opportunities.”

Next, calling Yahoo’s directors and large shareholders the “Huggy Bear contingent,” after that classic cliché of a character on the “Starsky & Hutch” television show, he advises against “trying to dress up Yahoo in order to pimp it out to any bidder it can find.”

Instead, in a very clear strategic explanation, Cuban advises that Yahoo become an aggressive buyer of traffic, services, content and monetization.

Given so much is on sale at a huge discount, Cuban posits that Yahoo should make 20 or more acquisitions in the next 18 months:

“Yahoo should be on the warpath, vetting each and every media (yes, media) and technology company it can sit down with looking for bargains.

“It should be taking Yahoo stock and finding every and any accretive investment in the Internet and media space that it possibly can. Some may argue that Yahoo stock is too cheap to use for acquisitions. I beg to differ. The speculation around a potential Microsoft acquisition, along with a very strong balance sheet has propped up its stock. Compared to private and public would be targets, Yahoo stock is amazingly strong currency.”

I like Cuban’s moxie–I always do–especially given he seems to be able to articulate a clear vision in his piece of what Yahoo could be, much better than its leadership.

“Yahoo has the opportunity to be the ultimate next generation media company,” write Cuban, quite correctly. “It just has to stop being afraid of its own shadow.”

Amen to that.

But Yahoo’s annual meeting on Friday will be more of a humdinger than usual (and BoomTown is all signed up to go and waiting for confirmation, after agreeing to a long fascist list of no-you-can’ts from Yahoo PR).

So many moving parts, including who, who, who will Yahoo (YHOO) and Icahn decide on for the two other board members to join besides Icahn (pictured here)?

Actually, I mostly want to know who gets to sit next to Icahn at the first board meeting. I vote Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang!

But I digress, let’s hazard a guess, shall we, of who the newbies will be?

The Icahn slate includes: Lucian A. Bebchuk, Frank J. Biondi, Jr., John H. Chapple, Mark Cuban, Adam Dell, Keith A. Meister, Edward H. Meyer, and Brian S. Posner, as well as the late addition of former AOL (TWX) head Jon Miller.

Yahoo must consent to Icahn’s choices and don’t actually have to seat the new members until August 15. Sources said it is interviewing all the candidates right now.

Miller is obviously a shoo-in, given that Yang suggested him to Icahn. Icahn harbors hopes of Miller taking over from Yang (he has talked to a lot of folks about that, in fact!), so getting Miller on board is step one.

But Yang will surely deny everyone the exquisite pleasure by picking Cuban (pictured here), the former Broadcast.com honcho who got rich via a Yahoo acquisition in Web 1.0, never looked back and never ever said “Thanks!”

You can guess longtime Icahn cronies Biondi and Meister are unlikely, given that it would be like having Carl times two (although I am not completely ruling out the more media-experienced Biondi).

Meyer certainly has the advertising chops as former chairman and CEO of Grey Global, but he might be considered too old-school for Yahoo.

Investor Adam “Brother of Michael” Dell seems more of a long shot, although he is certainly not objectionable to Yahoo. But if the company is looking for experience in Yahoo’s businesses going forward, Yahoo might not consider Dell the strongest of the group.

Same for mutual fund star Posner. An obvious brainiac, but just knowing how to make money on Wall Street does not really make him an ideal person to be on the board of an Internet company.

Now, Bebchuk is indeed intriguing, given his Harvard law professor/shareholder activist background and his pay-for-performance clarion cry. But Yang and some other current board members, who have recently been dinged by some proxy-advisory services for too much compensation compared with their record, might not like having Bebchuk so close by.

Thus, overall, from good-fit perspective, I like another former exec, John Chapple (pictured here) of Nextel best of all because mobile will be increasingly important to Yahoo in Web 3.0 (frankly, it better be, as Web 2.0 has not been too kind to Yahoo).

Via Sprint (S), Chapple knows from big mergers and he knows how to makes deals. He has been the operator of a digital company, unlike many of the others. And he is also an entrepreneur, which is a plus.

But whoever from the Icahn group gets the nod, one thing is certain: If they’re looking for friends on the old Yahoo board, they might want to get a dog instead.

“Where’s Jerry here? He is like a ghost,” said a Yahoo (YHOO) exec to me last week.

The exec was referring to the plans for a major overhaul of the management structure of the troubled Internet company–the dreaded and inevitable reorg that BoomTown wrote about in detail last week that is expected to be announced this week.

Many execs have told BoomTown that Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang has been strangely absent from the communications around the reorg, which has been driven largely by President Sue Decker.

Well, ghosts aren’t real, but fear and uncertainty clearly are at Yahoo these days.

Thus, as Yahoo gears up for its annual meeting on Aug. 1, where it faces a proxy battle with billionaire Carl Icahn (whose billowing sails have been much trimmed by the huge drop in Yahoo’s stock price recently), here’s a certainty: Yet another bumpy week for Yahoo, its employees and shareholders.

Last week, BoomTown outlined the changes that Yahoo is likely to announce this week, part of a massive management overhaul that has spurred the departures of top execs and focused much attention on how Yahoo is going to be organized by its leadership for its many challenges going forward.

That is, of course, if that leadership does go forward.

This is not to say that either Yang or Decker is under any particular pressure to go, despite all the turmoil with the Internet giant and also from external forces.

In fact, I think Decker will soon get the CEO job outright.

As I wrote in my post last week of other possible CEO alternatives for Yahoo (and I stand by my pick of Mark Cuban, my friends!):

It’s the obvious question, of course, to ask whether the co-founder of Yahoo has what it takes to manage the company through what will doubtlessly be a very difficult year. … As Yahoo continues to be in limbo, pressure is sure to mount heavily on Yang, and it is not a stretch to imagine he will not remain in the top job at the troubled company for the long term.”

It is even easier to imagine after the last week, which saw much upheaval in the exec ranks, with several top managers headed out the door and others clearly considering scaling the perimeter fence.

There’s lots of reasons for that, including the form of the expected reorg that might put power–besides with Yang and Decker–into the hands of two key execs: Hilary Schneider and Ash Patel (both pictured here).

Patel, the longtime Yahoo exec who is currently EVP of its Platforms and Infrastructure division, is expected to lead a new Global Products group–made up of “global” properties and products.

Much of the Network division, which until recently was under the leadership of the now departed Jeff Weiner, will move under Patel, including search, mail, instant messenger, front page, platforms and social networking.

And Global Partner Solutions EVP Hilary Schneider is apparently to be placed over the entire U.S. region. Schneider keeps all of ad sales, but gets the Yahoo Media Group (which was also in the Network division).

That shift will bring together Yahoo’s vast content properties, like Yahoo Finance, with ad sales and align them more closely.

How closely Decker will hew to this setup, which was proposed internally over the last two weeks with little input from most managers, will be interesting to see.

Obviously, plans could change given the tepid reaction internally to it.

Most interesting to me is how involved Yang will be in the proceedings. Because, despite all the disappointment, the iconic Internet figure does still have a significant place in the hearts of his Yahoo troops.

But, even that has its limits and Yang is in more and more danger of truly losing those hearts and minds, especially if the company does not stop feeling like it is lurching from one drama to the next and very, very soon.

Said one former Yahoo who has been in touch with many still there and who still very much cares for the company (as most who have left truly do) about what the mood among current Yahoo employees is, in a common sentiment I hear often these days:

“They expressed frustration with the endless reorganizations and unclear future of the company. Also said that morale is really low and people feel like they aren’t seeing true leadership from the [senior] exec team.

“I definitely sense less sensitivity for Jerry in the conversations I have with people who are still with the company. Six months ago, whenever I mentioned that I feel sorry for Jerry (because I do) given everything going on, most people would nod or say, ‘me too.’ Now, the reaction is usually a groan or rolling eyes.”

As in: Boo!

And then the New York Times’s Joe Nocera called for it in an eviscerating column this past weekend that articulated what an increasing number of people in Silicon Valley and Wall Street and, more importantly, within Yahoo have been thinking of late.

And that it is: Whether Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang (pictured here at D6) should step down in favor of another top executive to lead the troubled Internet company into the next era.

It’s the obvious question, of course, to ask whether the co-founder of Yahoo has what it takes to manage the company through what will doubtlessly be a very difficult year.

(Speaking of that, see this disturbing hiring freeze post by Peter Kafka of Silicon Alley Insider, which might spell trouble ahead at Yahoo.)

BoomTown asked Yang specifically why he was the right leader for Yahoo going forward at our sixth D: All Things Digital conference recently and–guess what?–he did not really have an answer to the question.

Let me for him, then: The main reason he is the right leader is due to his history, his obvious love for Yahoo and its employees and that his heart, as Yang said in his one and only passionate moment onstage, does bleed Yahoo purple.

Unfortunately, as important and touching as those things are, it’s probably not enough for the rough road ahead for Yahoo.

As Yahoo continues to be in limbo, pressure is sure to mount heavily on Yang, and it is not a stretch to imagine he will not remain in the top job at the troubled company for the long term.

So who would be good to replace him?

The list is a long one and could include execs like Tim Armstrong of Google, Kevin Johnson of Microsoft and any number of media and advertising execs.

But I have six candidates I like, so here’s my short list, in no particular order (and remember, the last time I made one for the job of the No. 2 leader for Facebook, its current COO Sheryl Sandberg was high on my list).

Sue Decker

Yahoo President Sue Decker (pictured here) is the obvious choice for Yang to hand over the reins to.

But should he?

Here are the positives: Decker is smart, articulate, financially savvy and a well-known quantity within Yahoo.

And, like Yang, she has worked her heart out there for many years.

But there are some significant negatives, starting with the tarnish of the whole Microsoft takeover saga, which most think both she and Yang have handled badly.

After so much confusion and missed opportunities, it is not clear if the troops at Yahoo or, perhaps more importantly, Wall Street and the company’s shareholders will give Decker the kind of running room she needs.

In addition, again and again, many within Yahoo talk about Decker’s lack of product feel and overall vision that will be required to truly give Yahoo the kick in the pants it so sorely needs.

Plus, Decker has been around Yahoo a long time and is clearly part of the leadership group that has allowed the company to languish for so long.

Nonetheless, Decker clearly remains the front-runner and might blossom if she had full control over Yahoo, as Bob Iger of Disney (DIS) did there, for example.

Meg Whitman

While many do not know it, Meg Whitman (pictured here) was almost the CEO of Yahoo once, but lost the chance due to a botched merger attempt between Yahoo and eBay (EBAY) back in Web 1.0.

Think of the might-have-beens of that union.

There is no doubt Whitman is an Internet exec star, despite the fact that she herself admits having done as much as she could at eBay after a decade when she recently stepped down as CEO there.

But that kind of candor is exactly what is most impressive about Whitman, who is straight-talking, and very, very tough, despite a sunny-seeming exterior.

She has certainly impressed Yahoos already, having appeared in the not-too-distant past at a sales conference, where she blew away the crowd with her grasp of Yahoo’s business.

Here’s the problem: Most expect the Republican Whitman to make her next move in the California political arena. Can you say Governor Whitman? Senator Whitman?

And also, she’s about as rich as you can be and any monetary attraction to reviving Yahoo would probably be negligible.

Peter Chernin

Let’s be clear–we’re not putting Peter Chernin (pictured here and BoomTown’s kind-of boss) in this list to kiss up to him.

While News Corp. (NWS), where Chernin is No. 2, is the owner of this site, I and many others consider him (along with Disney’s Iger) to be one of the sharpest and most versatile “old” media execs to get the Web.

At the very least, he does not seem scared senseless by it. (Which is a very big deal.)

And while he probably presides over one of the choicest media conglomerates out there, CEO Rupert Murdoch shows no signs of retiring, and his son, James Murdoch, is clearly training in the wings.

A move to Yahoo would be a bold one for someone like Chernin, who clearly has the tough management chops to run the place and give it direction to become a true partner to Hollywood in the way the Spock clones of Google never ever will be able to.

Actually, given he has a foot in both old and new media (Hulu.com, MySpace), he is BoomTown’s No. 1 pick.

Marc Andreessen

I had included Marc Andreessen (pictured here) in my list as a possible No. 2 exec at Facebook as a bit of a lark, just to remind folks that vision matters.

For his excellent blog alone, Andreeseen deserves a lot of attention for its bracing insight about the Internet business and its future.

And Andreessen has plenty of real-life chops too, from his founding Netscape right up until today, creating a series of new Web companies (he is currently chairman of a social-networking company called Ning) and investing in a lot of others that have given him a lot of gravitas and financial windfalls over the years.

Let me clearly state, I was not sure Andreessen could ever grow out of his enfant-terrible mode when I covered him several years ago, but that has clearly happened.

He knows how to build exciting companies, he is well-liked in Silicon Valley, he knows about scale, he knows about social networking and he is a respected technologist.

Most of all, Andreessen would be a leader who would add a lot of excitement to Yahoo. And, believe me, Yahoo needs a lot of that.

Dan Rosensweig

I know, I know. But why not?

Some might question my choice of Dan Rosensweig (pictured here), mostly because he departed from Yahoo in a previous crisis, but was still part of the management group that got Yahoo into this mess in the first place.

But, think hard. Rosensweig was not in charge then–in fact, leadership failures fell to former CEO Terry Semel and also Yang.

In addition, many at Yahoo–though not all–thought Rosensweig did a decent job of running the place.

He also wanted Yahoo to take a lot more chances than it did and is well liked in Silicon Valley and Wall Street.

In leaving and then returning, Rosensweig might represent a choice that allows Yahoo employees to feel confident that some of its past soul remains.

Mark Cuban

I am not kidding. Not even one little bit.

I know Mark Cuban (pictured here hoofing with gusto) is disliked by Yang and others at Yahoo for selling Broadcast.com to Yahoo back in the last bubble and then clearing out and making bank.

And I know they were furious that Cuban popped up on Icahn’s alternative board to replace Yahoo’s current board.

So what! Big whoop! Blah, blah, blah.

Because Yahoo needs a major restart and Cuban would easily be able to push that button.

Cuban is unorthodox, has clear business acumen and success, knows how to invest and he is loaded for bear with vision.

He is also dabbling in some very interesting arena of HDTV, as well as being involved in some other interesting investments.

Cuban is willing to be controversial and often takes aim at Google, with some good results, in his blog.

His current post: “Hulu Is Kicking YouTube’s Ass.” (Ahahahahahaha. Dang, I wish I had written it.)

It’s that kind of moxie that means he is probably the only one with the guts to really get down in the weeds of Yahoo and start hacking away at the tangle that needs hacking.

Also, Cuban can sure dance.

And, most of all, the next CEO of Yahoo is going to need to know how to do some very complex two-stepping–with Wall Street, with shareholders and with employees.

And he or she is going to have to look good doing it.

Please see this disclosure related to me and Google.

As BoomTown noted in a post yesterday, there is no love lost at Yahoo (YHOO) for Cuban (pictured here).

He sold the Web 1.0 star, Broadcast.com, for $5.7 billion in cash to Yahoo at the peak of the bubble in 1999, skedaddled quickly and then made bank by hedging his Yahoo shares and enjoying the proceeds extravagantly.

As one longtime Yahoo, who has left the company recently, emailed me in a typical sentiment: “You don’t even know how much they hate Cuban over there.”

Oh, I do.

But, while I get the emotional part, it is actually quite unfair realistically, given it was Yahoo that did precious little with Broadcast.com’s assets after paying so much for the company.

While that $5.7 billion was in inflated 1999 stock, Yahoo still had bought a lot of potentially good ideas and baby-step assets from Broadcast.com that it could have eventually parlayed into much more.

That’s because, though in its nascent stages, Broadcast.com was broadcasting live television events and had licensed television shows too.

In addition, it also had begun to put together capabilities to allow for the uploading of user-generated video, which YouTube later perfected.

While this was all relatively crude in today’s terms and timing is everything (who knows if Broadcast.com’s technologies would have worked right), it is yet another example of a soon-to-be-critical technology trend that Yahoo had a bead on early and then failed to capitalize on.

The same could be said of its mid-2003 acquisition of Overture, a start-up that pioneered text-based online ads and purchase that Yahoo did not take full advantage of until it was too late.

Of course, that was quite a whiff, since Google (GOOG) followed Yahoo into the business and, well, the rest is history.

Maybe Yahoo should get over its ire at Cuban and bring him back.

Considering a recent post by him on his Blog Maverick site, he sounds ready to go:

Is there anything more fun than sitting around, growing your hair, drinking a Bud while listening to Jethro Tull and pondering how to change the balance of power in the search world and unseat Google?”

How much would BoomTown pay to see Cuban and Yang doing that?

Much.

Specifically, in how to make bank from Yahoo’s desperation.

That would be entrepreneur and all-around bon vivant Mark Cuban (he is pictured here at our first D: All Things Digital conference in 2003), who sold Broadcast.com to Yahoo in the heady days of 1999 for $5.7 billion in Yahoo stock.

It was a huge deal at the time, with Yahoo engaged in an arms war with other Internet companies like Excite (remember them?), AOL (TWX) and others.

In an acquisitions frenzy, it grabbed Broadcast.com, which was started in 1992 as AudioNet, with Cuban and others in charge.

Broadcast.com was one of the nascent efforts to broadcast online, focusing on radio-like content on the Web, largely using sports and other live events.

It had one of those typical Web 1.0 faux-blockbuster IPOs in 1998 and then, as the stock began to decline, sold quickly to Yahoo a year later.

Right before, as it turned out, the whole bubble burst.

But Cuban and his cohorts made their scratch and were soon gone from Yahoo.

Cuban, sensing the end was nigh, also dumped his Yahoo shares before the decline. And, armed with a fortune, he began his fun foray into a range of businesses, from sports teams to movie theaters to his HDNet, a high-definition cable network.

And, of course, the private jets and entertaining courtside antics and working at the Dairy Queen!

And, also of course, most of Broadcast.com’s assets are useless to Yahoo today.

Now, Cuban is back knocking at Yahoo’s door as an invader, the only major Internet figure apparently willing to turn on the iconic Yahoo CEO and Co-Founder Jerry Yang.

Calling Benedict Arnold!

I don’t blame Cuban, actually, although Yang surely will be angry over his presence on the Icahn board.

There was always a level of rancor within Yahoo about Cuban, because he sold Broadcast.com at the top, traded out of Yahoo shares at the top and then simply sat back and watched it all as a billionaire gadfly.

BoomTown used to even tease Yang about how Cuban was richer than he was and got to have all the fun. It would always get a glare out of him.

So too could Cuban, as in this post from his smart Blog Maverick (of course, it is named that!) blog, right after Microsoft’s (MSFT) unsolicited bid for Yahoo,.

In it, Cuban urged Yang to sell to the Internet giant, largely due to the pressure of competing with Google (GOOG).

Cuban wrote:

Building a world class Yahoo to be the best company it possibly can be using the management skills that Jerry and company have is a far different challenge than optimizing the stock price. Particularly when Google is your stock comp…

Which is exactly why Jerry and David should sell to MSFT…

So the question isn’t whether Yahoo should sell. It should. The only question is what the structure of the deal should look like so that Jerry and David can achieve many of the goals they set out to accomplish on the net under the MSFT umbrella. Jerry definitely is about customers first. This is his chance to show it…

So Yahoo should say yes. It’s less about the money than about finally achieving the corporate goals set out more than a decade ago. One time Jerry told me that Yahoo stood for You Always Have Other Options. This time Yahoo doesn’t, but their customers options could improve exponentially if Yahoo says yes.”

Given the Yahoo acquisition of Broadcast.com gave the clever Cuban the billions he has used so entertainingly, it’s all kind of ironic, no?

BoomTown’s most favorite part of the Yahoo takeover circus?

The dueling letters, of course! How the lovely practice of missives has fallen out of favor, as soulless emails have grown in use.

Well, not in the land of hostile takeovers!

So here’s our decoding of billionaire investor Carl Icahn’s thankfully brief letter to Yahoo’s Chairman Roy Bostock, informing Yahoo (YHOO) he begins bombing in five minutes.

Icahn wrote:

Carl C. Icahn
ICAHN CAPITAL LP
767 Fifth Avenue, 47th Floor
New York, NY 10153

Dear Mr. Bostock:

Translation: Who are you? Whatever. I regret to inform you, but I eat wimpy Chairman of the Board types like you for breakfast.

Icahn wrote: It is clear to me that the board of directors of Yahoo has acted irrationally and lost the faith of shareholders and Microsoft. It is quite obvious that Microsoft’s bid of $33 per share is a superior alternative to Yahoo’s prospects on a standalone basis. I am perplexed by the board’s actions. It is irresponsible to hide behind management’s more-than-overly optimistic financial forecasts. It is unconscionable that you have not allowed your shareholders to choose to accept an offer that represented a 72% premium over Yahoo’s closing price of $19.18 on the day before the initial Microsoft offer. I and many of your shareholders strongly believe that a combination between Yahoo and Microsoft would form a dynamic company and more importantly would be a force strong enough to compete with Google on the Internet.

Translation: Here I am stating the glaringly obvious. But don’t you like my use of self-righteous and indignant words like “unconscionable”?

Nonetheless, I must ask: What are you smoking over there on the Left Coast?

When someone dangles more than $40 billion to anyone on Wall Street, we’d throw our mother under the wheels of the bus if we needed to to get it. Frankly, we would do it for $12.43.

In any case, your break with reality is my golden opportunity.

Icahn wrote: During the past week, a number of shareholders have asked me to lead a proxy fight to attempt to remove the current board and to establish a new board which would attempt to negotiate a successful merger with Microsoft, something that in my opinion the current board has completely botched. I believe that a combination between Microsoft and Yahoo is by far the most sensible path for both companies. I have therefore taken the following actions: (1) during the last 10 days, I have purchased approximately 59 million shares and share-equivalents of Yahoo; (2) I have formed a 10-person slate which will stand for election against the current board; and (3) I have sought antitrust clearance from the Federal Trade Commission to acquire up to approximately $2.5 billion worth of Yahoo stock. The biographies of the members of our slate are attached to this letter. A more formal notification is being delivered today to Yahoo under separate cover.

Translation: Gordon Crawford of Capital Research has me on speed dial, for your information. Also, you don’t have Legg Mason’s (LM) Bill Miller to kick around anymore!

Thus, like the good-only-for-pate goose you are, I am going to force-feed the Microsoft (MSFT) merger down Yahoo’s gullet on my terms and remove you from any and all decision-making.

I have bought a ton of your shares, I am going to buy more, I am checking with the Feds.

Check, check, double-check!

And, as an added SuperPoke, my largely unimpressive dissident board slate includes Mark Cuban, whose Broadcast.com Yahoo overpaid for in the last Web 1.0 bubble, giving him the ability to be the loud-mouthed, but highly entertaining owner of sports teams and a dancing fool, I might add, to always remind you that nice guys do finish last.

Nice guy? That would be you. Finish last? You again!

Icahn wrote: While it is my understanding that you do not intend to enter into any transaction that would impede a Microsoft-Yahoo merger, I am concerned that in several recent press releases you stated that you intend to pursue certain “strategic alternatives.” I therefore hope and trust that if there is any question that these “strategic alternatives” might in any way impede a future Microsoft merger you will at the very least allow shareholders to opine on them before embarking on such a transaction.

Translation: Make a move to kiss up to Google (GOOG) any more and I promise I will slap you back to last Sunday, instead of just having a hissy fit like Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer.

As to AOL (TWX), I have three words, if you try to merge with that dog: An Overwhelming Lawsuit.

Icahn wrote: I sincerely hope you heed the wishes of your shareholders and move expeditiously to negotiate a merger with Microsoft, thereby making a proxy fight unnecessary.

Translation: Wait, I have three more words: Make my day.

Icahn wrote:

Sincerely yours,
CARL C. ICAHN

Translation: First, I am adult who uses all caps when writing my name, as opposed to Yang, who signs letters like a toddler, like this: jerry.

Also, I am not sincere in any way whatsoever and never have been in my entire life.

Except that one heart-breaking time when I was but a wee billionaire activist investor: Rosebud!

The title of the blog? “You’ve Gotta Be Kidding Me: The Official Press Organ of the Maxist Revolution.”

Very funny, Max! (Here the Ukrainian-born Levchin is pictured in Moscow’s Red Square!)

By spooky coincidence, “you’ve gotta be kidding me” is the working title and guiding principle of a post I am preparing on the recent $500 million valuation for the San Francisco-based widget maker!

More on kooky widget economics soon, but Levchin is a welcome addition to the blogosphere, given his obvious intellect and engaging personality.

He joins other entrepreneurs, like Mark Cuban and Marc Andreessen, who have proved themselves to be most excellent bloggers.

Levchin’s first post is about how to successfully launch a social-networking development platform, which he knows a thing or two about.

I am particularly intrigued by No. 9 and No. 10:

9. Make the No. 1 measurable goal of your PR team the amount of coverage that successful (or just interesting) developers get. People will jump through all kinds of hoops to be in the papers. Double so if the article lists them next to a [your] big brand.

10. Hold frequent developer events and invite leading developers to speak at those. Elevating developers (especially the smaller ones) to a pseudo-celebrity status can create a great deal of good will.

Hoop-jumping to get in papers and pseudo-celebrity status sounds a little Britney Spears for my tastes, but I like the spirit of it!

Of course, he did forget getting a crazy valuation as the best attention-seeking missile of all, and he already had a close-shaved haircut!

Here’s Max doing some Olympic hoop-jumping in one of my video interviews with him last fall, discussing the IPO market for widget companies like Slide:

As a holiday gift to all readers, BoomTown will refrain from making any big pronouncements about what’s coming in 2008 in the tech sector, because, um, well, I have no idea what’s coming in 2008 in the tech sector. No one could have Miss Cleo-ed all the twists and turns of 2007, for certain.

Could we have predicted a tiny start-up with negligible revenues but explosive growth could be valued at $15 billion? We swear on our Facebook profile we could not!

Could we have shamanized that Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang would have promised there were no sacred cows at the struggling Internet giant, even though there apparently are herds of them? It’s a mooot point that we would have been unable to do so.

Could we have guessed that Apple stock would be up 135%? You can iTouch my iPhone if I am lying!

Could we have foreseen that a devastating writers’ strike in Hollywood would be waged over nonexistent Web revenues? It’s a tale we could not have created, even with special effects.

Could we have pontificated that Google would take on the cellphone industry? You can ring our bell, but no, ma’am.

Could we have imagined that unusually enthusiastic entrepreneur Mark Cuban would lose his step on “Dancing With the Stars”?

Well, OK, we figured that one out, right after watching the painful “I Dream of Jeannie” dance number, pictured here. (But then again, we were rooting for Marie Osmond.)