Does the tech march ever slow down?

Not this week it doesn’t! And Digital Daily’s live-blogger de tutti live-bloggers John Paczkowski will be there to cover every move.

Today, in case you haven’t heard, is the big annual Apple (AAPL) event: The Worldwide Developers Conference in San Francisco.

The keynote at the Moscone Center kicks off at 10 AM PDT with Phil Schiller, senior vice president of worldwide marketing, along with other Apple execs. They will be presenting to 1,000 developers, at what is now the only major products event for the iconic and innovative Silicon Valley company.

A passel of press, as well as John, will also be there, along with our Web guru (and closet Apple expert) Adam Tow. They’ll be liveblogging and posting photos to the All Things Digital site throughout the event.

It’ll be a lot of iPhone news, according to reports, with possibly an upgraded device and all sorts of new features and software.

But, unless it is their lucky day, Apple fanboys likely to have to wait a little bit longer for the return of Apple’s leader Steve Jobs, presumably astride a steed bearing a giant tablet iPod Touch.

According to The Wall Street Journal last week–whose report is finally, finally, finally the most solid, thus far–Jobs is set to return soon to the helm of Apple after a six-month sick leave.

And that means reports of Jobs’ imminent demise early this year were, as it turned out, quite premature.

Which makes it laughable that those who trumpeted someone’s allegedly fatal illness without even close to adequate sourcing are now–as the specifics of their clear overreaching have faded–they were sort-of right, since, you know, he was sick.

But let me review what was reported then, using a single source: Jobs was “declining rapidly” and “it may be even worse than we imagined” and, quoting the source directly: “Apple is choosing to remove the hype factor strategically vs. letting the hype destroy Apple when the inevitable news comes later this spring.”

Oops, it is June now and Jobs appears to be on the mend, it did not turn out to be worse, even if he was quite sick, and spring has passed without the “inevitable” happening. Close is only right in horse shoes, especially in this case.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I certainly don’t, but neither does anyone else, which is why–unless you’re looking at Jobs’ medical reports or hearing from someone who has seen them–it’s pretty much an impossible story to get right either way.

So, no matter how much they try to defend themselves in a recent piece in the New York Times (which was silly enough in its toothless blogger-bashing)–claiming it is fine and dandy to insinuate that someone is at death’s door without, you know, knowing for sure if it were true–it’s just lame all around.

But, lamer still was the climbing-onto-a-very-high-and-precarious-horse reaction to that dopey Times article, by giving these dog-ate-my-homework reporting lapses the even sillier moniker of “process” journalism.

I confess I am utterly flummoxed by this term, because it seems to boil down to:

We have a firm commitment to report it wrong until we, um, get it right or someone, anyone, please hurry, corrects us–not that we’ll ever admit an error, just like mainstream media!

Actually, it sounds more like processed cheese journalism–completely without nutrition and eventually bad for readers’ health. But eat up and get obese on it, because it’s free and cheap and even tasty at times!

But, I digress.

After all the Apple news is chewed and re-chewed up by one and all, Google (GOOG) will be holding an app event tomorrow, also in San Francisco.

Said a Google email: “At this invitation-only media gathering, we’ll announce product news, share perspectives of new enterprise customers, see demos, and review the Google Apps business. You’ll have the opportunity to speak with a number of senior IT decision makers who have moved their businesses to cloud computing, as well as Google executives, and engineering and product managers. We hope you’ll be able to join.”

Paczkowski will, of course, join and be serving up organic liveblogging fare, full of vitamins and minerals and all the good stuff, both fast and accurate!

Process that.

But, fear not, it will also be, as usual, quite tasty too.

With Macworld out of the way (basic verdict: Phil Schiller did not bomb), a chunk of the crack All Things Digital squad is now winging its way both east and west to the annual gadgetopocalypse in Las Vegas, a.k.a. the Consumer Electronics Show.

Despite the fact that the show is feeling the pinch of the economy–I was able to get a better room at a cheaper price last night, which was unheard of in the past–and that there are really no big products to speak of, except perhaps the new Palm (PALM) smartphone, CES is still one of the biggest and most important gatherings of the tech year.

Las Vegas turns into a geek moshpit every year–with the spicier pornies thrown in, with that industry’s convention also taking place at the same time–as legions of vendors, buyers, press and others converge to be overwhelmed for days by noise, long lines for cabs, keynotes, demos and more.

That also means the ATD team, including: Walt Mossberg, who gets the kind of attention from techies at CES normally reserved for Brangelina; Mossberg Solution columnist Katherine Boehret, who trolls the convention center floor looking for cool new products; MediaMemo’s Peter Kafka, who has scheduled himself to the gills; and me, who has not.

Still, there will be parties thrown by Facebook, CBS (CBS) and more to attend, a cornucopia of gadgetry to try and panels to moderate (I am manning one supersession called, I kid you not: “What Will They Think of Next? Consumer Technology in 2025″).

Also, I’ll be honest, gambling at the Pussycat Dolls Lounge with a passel of nerds.

Between the hands of poker, look for our ongoing coverage over the next few days, including interviews, videos and news (we hope!).

It will all begin tonight with coverage of Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer’s preshow opening keynote, taking over from longtime first-nighter Bill Gates.

Until then, here is the fabulous Ann-Margret doing a mean bugaloo in “Viva Las Vegas” (the Pussycat Dolls have nothing on her) with super-handsome-phase Elvis Presley singing like a dream:

Even without Apple CEO Steve Jobs, there will be copious amounts of live coverage of Macworld’s keynote by Apple SVP Phil “No-Black-Turtleneck” Schiller all over the tech sites online in T-minus nine hours and counting.

And, guess what? All Things Digital will be there too, with the intrepid reporting duo of Digital Daily’s John Paczkowski on text and our Webmaster (and not-so-secret Mac fanboy) Adam Tow on photos.

They and many others are hoping the not-prone-yet Jobs will make a surprise appearance, even by iChat, to greet the Apple (AAPL) faithful crowd gathered in San Francisco.

One can hope for His Digital Holiness, but the event might be more about Mac minis and 17-inch Macbook Pros, as most expect.

Until then, enjoy this very funny spoof video from The Onion about a new Apple sensation that almost seems like it could be made and sold: The Macbook Wheel.

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

BoomTown is not saying it’s going to be like watching grass grow.

But 2009 is not exactly getting off to a rousing start this week–with a pair of definitely underwhelming blockbuster tech events taking place that already have more of an air of whimper than of bang to them.

That would be the Consumer Electronics Show, the annual egregious gadgetfest in Las Vegas, and the final appearance by Apple (AAPL) at Macworld in San Francisco.

Of course, while CES tries to fend off the spate of no-one-is-going-to-CES stories–well, I am!–the absence of his digital Holiness and Apple CEO Steve Jobs at Macworld has really generated most of the glumness.

[UPDATE: In a public letter, Jobs says he has a "hormone imbalance" and will stay on as CEO as he recovers.]

Still, the keynote cancellation by Jobs–which started off a new round of is-he-sicker? rumors–is profoundly depressing for Macworld.

After all, it was only two years ago that he practically blew out every geek mind with the introduction of the iPhone there. (See a part of that masterful performance in a video below.)

Thus, it falls to Apple’s SVP of Worldwide Product Marketing, Phil Schiller, to be thrilling–with exactly what, it is still unclear. Rumors abound, none of which are very promising (New iLife and iWork! New Mac mini! Zzzzzzzz).

There is, of course, the vain hope that Schiller will end his speech by uttering Jobs’s patented “one more thing” line, wherein Jobs will walk out (without a walker!), wave and create what would be a genuine frenzy, especially since the last sighting of him was at a yogurt store.

As to CES, there is no big or new product trend to point to, except rumor of a possibly exciting intro of a touchscreen smartphone from Palm (PALM) with a slide-down keyboard. Wheeeee!

Some keynote speakers include Sony (SNE) CEO Sir Howard Stringer, Ford Motor Co. (F) CEO Alan Mulally, Intel (INTC) Chairman Craig Barrett and Cisco (CSCO) CEO John Chambers.

Interestingly, the absence of former Microsoft (MSFT) head Bill Gates at CES–long announced, after more than a dozen times there–caused no weeping and rending of garments, as did Jobs’s nonappearance.

In his place, there will be a keynote by the software giant’s CEO, Steve Ballmer, in which no major announcement seems to be coming.

Still, one can dream, and I desperately hope Ballmer will say “one more thing” and out will come Yahoo (YHOO) CEO Jerry Yang to announce a big honking search deal, finally putting to bed one of 2008’s longest-running soap operas.

What can I say? This is tech and, for us (okay, me, at least), that would be exciting.

Speaking of gripping, I dare you to watch this 2007 iPhone intro performance by Apple’s Jobs and not be deeply impressed by his stylings:

The prospect of no Steve Jobs keynote and Apple’s last year at IDG’s annual Macworld Conference & Expo is sure to do five things:

1. Send the legions of Apple (APPL) fanboys–whose attendance at the January event has been akin to those who flock to sightings of the Virgin Mary in various places like, um, toast–into a deep chasm of depression from which they will never recover.

2. Renew rampant and unsubstantiated speculation about the health of Apple CEO Steve Jobs, which will immediately impact the stock of the tech icon. In fact, Apple shares are already down almost six percent in after-hours trading.

3. Begin rampant and unsubstantiated speculation about a power struggle within Apple among the potential successors to Jobs, including product czar Phil Schiller–who is giving the keynote–and COO Tim Cook. This utterly ignores the fact that you actually need more than one person to run a major corporation, even with His Digital Holiness in charge.

4. Result in a series of spurious reports of what cool new product the company will and will not release at the event, reports that BoomTown has calculated on my handy-dandy abacus are typically 83 percent wrong. Incredibly, the company always seems about to release something, because I seem to keep buying.

5. As Digital Daily’s John Paczkowski noted in a tweet just now: “Man, they must be chugging Mylanta by the gallon over at IDG corporate right now.”